Farmer Bill goes into a bar and is greeted by the bartender.

Joe: "Hey bill, what’s up? You look awful"

Bill: "Oh it's really bad. I don't wanna talk about it."

Joe: "Come on. You know you can tell me anything."

Bill: "No, there are things you just CAN'T explain."

Bill talks a little more to Joe and after two beer he finally tells his story.

Bill: "You know my cow Bertha. She’s always so stubborn."

Joe: "Oh yes, that cow is a bitch."

Bill: "So this morning I go into her stable to milk her. Just when I sit down on my milking stool she kicks it away and I fall on the floor."

Joe: "Okay, that happens"

Bill: "I reach on the board above me, take a calving rope and tie her leg up. But just as I want to sit down again she kicks my milking stool with her other leg. This time I almost break my neck."

Joe: "So that’s why you are upset. Does it hurt that much?"

Bill: "No, let's talk about something else. There are things you just CAN'T explain."

A beer later Joe convinces Bill to continue with his story.

Bill: "Okay, so Bertha kicked the milking stool a second time. I get up, reach on the board above me, take a calving rope and tie her second leg up."

Joe: "So her back is basically hovering?"

Bill, with tears in his eyes: "Yes! You know what? There are things you just..."

Joe: "...CAN'T explain. I understand. Please try anyway."

Bill: "So, Bertha is hovering in front of me. And just as I reach for the milking stool she slaps me in the face with her tail."

Joe: "That sounds just like Bertha. But we both know you love her anyway."

Bill, with a death glare: "I do NOT love her! Anyways, I get up, reach on the board above me, no calving rope left. I take my belt, tie her tail up, my pants drop, my wife comes in ... there are things you just CAN'T explain."