An esteemed hero of all men approaches Olympus and thinks hey, why the hell not. If I lose I may be disappointed, but if I win I will join the legendary Gods of the Pantheon!
So he makes his way to Zeus, excited to see what is in store for him in order to prove his worth to the Gods. Along the way, he sees dozens of noble warriors, bodybuilders and others laying on the ground, devastated. Their absolute and utter exhaustion is displayed clearly by the pools of sweat underneath them, and the sound of wheezing could be heard from over 50 yards away. The hero is now concerned, these men appear to be very strong and fit, but he is more so than all of them. A ways further and he sees Hercules, Chuck Norris, and even Atlas, who held up the entire world for countless years, receiving medical attention for their hands which are shaking uncontrollably. The hero is extremely worried, and heavily considers turning back. If these great men could not best the challenge of strength, then how could I? But the prospect of becoming a god was too tempting, and he pressed forward.
The hero had finally reached Zeus who was holding a jar of peanut butter. "Welcome, great hero. If you wish to become a god you must complete 4 feats of strength. Here is a jar of peanut butter. Please open the jar without using any hot water." The hero took the jar, and while tight, presented no challenge as he opened it without a grimace.
"Very good" says Zeus. "For the next challenge, you must carry 8 bags of groceries in one trip, without dropping any or breaking the eggs." As a man, the hero has done this countless times before, so he was not particularly worried. He picked up 4 in one hand and 4 in the other, and carried them over to Zeus's refrigerator.
"You give me hope, challenger! Perhaps someone will be able to complete my challenges after all. The feats increase in difficulty, of course, so be prepared for this next one! I have lodged my sword in this slab of granite. Retrieve the sword for me and I will present you the final challenge." The hero begins to pull on the sword, and it is very difficult. He notices the sword wiggle slightly, which gives him just enough confidence to unlodge the sword using most of his might. He presents the sword to Zeus.
"Hero, you have completed the first 3 trials and only one remains. No mortal man has made it this far, and it is as far as Hercules, Chuck Norris, and all the great heroes have made it; but none have succeeded. Complete this, and you shall have a seat in the legendary Pantheon.
Zeus holds out his hand, and says "Here is an uncracked pistachio. Open it."
0 nhận xét:
Đăng nhận xét