A man is drinking at a bar. He gets so drunk that he pukes all over his shirt. He turns to the bartender and goes,
"I'm in trouble now. If my wife discovers I've been drinking again, she'll kill me."
The bartender says, "Don't worry, here's what you do. You take a ten dollar bill, and put it in your shirt pocket. Then you go to your wife and say some other guy got so drunk he puked on you, but he felt sorry about it and gave you ten dollars to have your shirt cleaned."
So the drunken guy agrees to give it a try. He goes back to his wife and tells her that a drunk guy puked on his shirt then gave him ten dollars to have it cleaned.
The wife looks and says, "He gave you twenty dollars."
The guy replies, "Oh I forgot. He also shit in my pants."
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