In ancient Rome, a man was convicted for eating his wife.

The soldiers arrested him and bought him before Caesar.

"Do you have remorse for your heinous crime?" Caeser asked.

The Roman smiled and shook his head. He looked very happy.

Caeser was shocked. He told the guards

"To commit such an act is bad enough but to be happy about it? As a punishment, keep him in chains, and every day make him fight armed opponents, using only the minimum of weapons! Report back to me in a week, we'll see if he's still smiling."

The guards dragged the man off. He was still smiling. As they were commanded, each day they made the prisoner fight. On the first day, armed with only a net and stick, he fought an opponent with a spear. On the next day, with only a small rope, he fought two swordsmen. And so on, he was forced to fight every day.

At the end of the week, the prisoner was in a real sorry state. He could barely blink, let alone smile. 

The head guard came to Caesar. "Oh Caeser, I  have come to report on the prisoner. We made him fight each day, using the most basic weapons, like a, er, you know, whaddaya call it?"

"Gladiator?" said Caeser.

The guard snickered. "No, he actually quite regrets it."