Mine is the Ford F Series.
Thứ Sáu, 1 tháng 5, 2015
My wife asked me if I had ever peed in the shower...
I said, "Yeah, a couple of times, accidentally." She said, "That's disgusting! What do you mean accidentally?!" "Hey," I said, "these things happen when you're having a shit."
This Corgi Is The Perfect Metaphor For All Of Your Daily Frustrations
The struggle is real.
Poor Teagen just wants a treat that is just out of reach (and stuck to her butt). We've all been there, in one way or another.
TeagenCorgi &Friends / Via youtube.com
You know that feeling when you seem to be going round and round, just trying to get that small reward.
Why does it have to be so hard?!
TeagenCorgi &Friends / Via youtube.com
Frustrated, you think maybe I'm doing it wrong. You don't give up, though... you just change direction.
And still, you fail.
TeagenCorgi &Friends / Via youtube.com
You're not a quitter! You step it up - try harder, work faster!
Your reward is so close, yet so far away!
TeagenCorgi &Friends / Via youtube.com
A priest is being honored at his retirement dinner...
A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: Thank Goodness we Catholics have a wonderful sense of humour!
“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss’s wife; had sex with his boss’s 17 year old daughter on numerous occasions, taken illegal drugs; had several homosexual affairs; was arrested several times for public nudity and gave VD to his sister in-law.
I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things. But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”
Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.”
A very old man is being interviewed live.
Interviewer : Sir, you lived all your life in a very remote village. We are eager to know what life was like in a place like this. Can you tell us about a day you remember particularly ? What was the best day of your life ?
Old Man : Well I remember one day we lost the most beautiful goat we had in the forest. All the 200 hundred men of the village went out in the forest and looked for it all day. It was absolutely impossible to find ! We returned to the village when night came. And guess what we found ? The goat ! It was right there in front of us ! So we all got very happy and started to dance, to drink... We were so happy we all fucked the goat. What an evening, what an...
I : Uhm... Sir, this interview is being broadcasted live... You can't say things like that on TV ! Tell us about another day you remember. Tell us about the second best day of your life.
Old Man : Well I remember one day the most beautiful cow of the herd got lost in the forest. All the 200 men of the village went out in the forest to look for it. All day. We could not find it anywhere ! When night came we went back to the village. And guess what we found ? The cow ! Right there in front of us ! We were so happy we all started to dance, drink... Then we all fucked the cow. What a night, what a...
I : Sir I have to interrupt you here. Kids are watching this ! You cannot say anything you want. Maybe the best days of your life are not such a good idea... Well tell us about the worst day of your life for a change.
Old Man : Well I remember one day I got lost in the forest...
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