I like my Reddit posts like I like my internet search history

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Two blondes are on an elevator

A man gets on and stands in front of them. They both notice that he has terrible dandruff.

One whispers to the other, "Someone should give that guy some Head and Shoulders."

The other whispers back, "How do you give shoulders?"

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Pilot and Co-Pilot

The pilot was Jewish, and the co-pilot was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didn't get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, "I don't like Chinese."

The co-pilot replied, "Ooooh, no like Chinese? WHY is that?"

The pilot said, "You guys bombed Pearl Harbor. THAT'S why I don't like Chinese!"

The co-pilot said, "Nooooo, noooo ...Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbor. That JAPANESE, not Chinese!"

And the pilot answered, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese ... it doesn't matter. They're ALL ALIKE."

Another 30 minutes of silence. Finally the co-pilot said, "No like Jew."

The pilot replied, "Why not? WHY don't you like Jews?"

"Jews sink Titanic" said the co-pilot.

The pilot tried to correct him, "NO, NO!! The JEWS didn't sink the Titanic. It was an ICEBERG!"

"Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg .. no mattah .. ALL SAME!"

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My friend and I signed up to win a lifetime supply of skin lotion. He won and I didn't

The worst part is that he keeps rubbing it in.

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I like my porn just how I like my search history

Disabled.

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A linguistics professor says during a lecture....

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that 'In English, a double negative forms a positive.

But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.

However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.'

But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.

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3 drunk guys enterd a taxi

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!

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