Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Sáu, 3 tháng 8, 2018

Them: "don't you think you'll feel embarrassed by all your suicide jokes when you get older

Me "when I what"...

I can’t see an end, I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape – I don’t even have a home anymore...

I think it's time for a new keyboard....

An Alabama girl sees her mother showering

An Alabama girl sees her mother showering. She sees her tits and asks: "Mom, what is that on your chest?" The mother says: "Nothing important sweetie, you'll get them too when you are older!" Later in the day, she sees her father showering. She sees her dad's dick and asks: "What's that between your legs, dad?" The father says: "I can't tell you right now!" The girl asks: "Will I get it when I'm older?" The father replies: "You can get it now if you stay quiet."...

Farmer Bill goes into a bar and is greeted by the bartender.

Joe: "Hey bill, what’s up? You look awful" Bill: "Oh it's really bad. I don't wanna talk about it." Joe: "Come on. You know you can tell me anything." Bill: "No, there are things you just CAN'T explain." Bill talks a little more to Joe and after two beer he finally tells his story. Bill: "You know my cow Bertha. She’s always so stubborn." Joe: "Oh yes, that cow is a bitch." Bill: "So this morning I go into her stable to milk her. Just when I sit down on my milking stool she kicks it away and I fall on the floor." Joe: "Okay, that happens" Bill:...

Donald Trump dies and goes to hell.

Donald Trump has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.   "I don't know what to do,"  says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you.  But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have  to take their place.  I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.”   Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.   The devil opened the first room....

A drunk man goes into a restaurtant

A drunk man goes into a restaurtant. He tells the waiter: "I'll have one portion of Carbonara and 2 beers." The waiter tells him: "Sorry, we don't serve drunk people. Please leave." The man angrily leaves, comes back 15 minutes later and says: "I'll have one portion of Carbonara and 2 beers." The waiter tells him again: "Sorry sir, I already told you. We don't serve drunk people. Please leave." The man leaves again, comes back 20 minutes later and says: "I'll have one portion of Carbonara and 2 beers." The waiter shouts at him: "Get out of here...

Honest Confession

This is long, have patience and read it without skipping to the end! :D A confession in a Facebook page read : "My sister is a hottie." Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I am sleep deprived so I guess I'll write it now and regret it in the morning. First of all - just for some background : My mom died right when I was born, She was really really hot, but this isn't about her. I guess that's fucked up to say, but whatever... I actually grew up with my dad's family because my dad had all...