Wii U Wii U Wii U
Thứ Tư, 22 tháng 8, 2018
Two farmers are walking through a field...
Two farmers are walking through a field and come across a huge sinkhole in the ground.
“Wow!” says the first farmer, “I wonder how far down this thing goes.”
He takes a penny from his pocket and throws it into the sinkhole. The two farmers listen, but they never hear it hit the bottom.
The second farmer picks up a large rock off the ground and throws it into the sinkhole
Again, both farmers listen, but they never hear the rock hit the bottom.
The second farmer spies an anvil a few feet away, and together the two farmers struggle to haul the anvil over to the sinkhole. They throw it in, and listen, but it never seems to hit the bottom.
The farmers turn to leave, when all of a sudden, a goat comes speeding towards them at 30 miles an hour, and jumps straight into the sinkhole.
As they are leaving, a third farmer runs towards them, waving his hands.
“Have either of you seen a goat?” he asks frantically.
“Yes,” says the first farmer, “In fact, a goat just came galloping through the field and jumped right into that sinkhole there.”
“Impossible!” says the third farmer, “I had him tied to an anvil!”
Thứ Ba, 21 tháng 8, 2018
How many of you forgave your enemies?
During Sunday mass, the priest asked the crowd:
-"How many of you forgave your enemies?"
Around 80% of them raised their hands. The priest then asked: "And how many of you intend to forgive your enemies?", and almost everyone's hand was now in the air. Everyone except a feeble, old lady in the front row.
-"Ms. Rogers, don't you intend on forgiving your enemies?"
-"I don't have any!", she replied through a chuckle.
-"Ms. Rogers, that's very unusual, how old are you?"
-"98", she proclaimed.
-"Oh, ms. Rogers, why don't you come up and share the secret with everyone? How does someone live to be 98 and no enemies?"
She walked up and gave everyone a polite smile before answering: -"I outlived the bitches."
A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "Hes on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if hed like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"Shes in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Daves wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.
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