An American walks by, sees what the German is doing and says, "Gross!"
The German says, "Danke!"
Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 4, 2020
A teacher asked her students to share what their dads do for a living.
Little Johnny said, "My dad's a stripper at a gay nightclub and he turns tricks in the alley way to earn extra money."
The teacher was Mortified and after class she pulls little Johnny aside and ask, "Johnny is your dad really a stripper at a gay night club?!"
Little Johnny said, "No. He's a reporter for CNN but I was too ashamed to say that."
Thứ Hai, 13 tháng 4, 2020
An Irish Lumberjack
A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.
The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the Foreman's door.
"I cut the tree down," said the Irishman.
"Holy smokes!" Said the Formean. "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the Irishman.
Confused, the Forman asked "...don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
"Is that what they call it now?"
I tried to donate blood today... NEVER AGAIN!
So many questions,
Who's blood is that? How did you get it? Was the bucket even sanitized before you filled it with blood.
The best joke to tell at parties
3 guys find out that they have 3 weeks to live. They realize that they have nothing to show for in their lives, so they each decide to try getting into the Guinness Book of World Records. The first guys says, "I have pretty long arms, maybe I have the longest arms in the world!" The second guy says, "I have a big chest, maybe I have the biggest chest in the world!" The third guys says, "I have a small dick, maybe I have the smallest dick in the world!" So they each submit their applications to the Guinness Book of World Records headquarters. A week later, the book is published, and they all gather around to see the results. The first guy opens the book and says, "Hey look! I have the longest arms in the world!" The second guy looks and says "Wow! I can't believe I have the biggest chest in the world!" And the third guys looks and says, "...Who the fuck is [insert name of one of the listeners]?!"
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