4 and 6...
Thứ Hai, 5 tháng 7, 2021
Three men took part in a turd-eating competition.
The competition is simple: The first guy to eat 100 pieces of turd without throwing up wins.
The first man starts eating. 1, 3, 5, 10... He pukes at 30 pieces and gets eliminated.
The second man starts off strong and eats 2 by 2, but eventually he vomits at around 60 pieces.
The last guy knows no disgust and gobbles up a ton of pieces of turd quickly. 50, 60, 90, he finally comes to the last piece of turd. With people cheering around him, he puts it in his mouth. Suddenly, he spews it out disgustedly. All people around him get surprised and ask...
A joke my friend sent me
It’s my cake day and I wanted to share a joke my friend sent me, and honestly its probably from this sub but here it goes.
There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath. After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, "Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00."
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "I am." The man replies, "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"...
A nun asks her class, “When you die and go to Heaven... which part of your body goes first?”
Suzy raised her hand and said "I think it's your hands.” "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.” “What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said "Sister, I think it's your feet.” The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"
Little Johnny said "Well, I walked into mommy and daddy’s bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight...
My daughter was born this morning, July 4th.
It’s the day I lost my independence.
(This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well)....
Chủ Nhật, 4 tháng 7, 2021
I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.
The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams. "What happened to you?" I asked.
He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."
The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams. "And what is your problem?" I asked.
He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."
The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams. "Oh my gosh, what the hell happened to you?!?" I gasped.
He looked down, then sighed. "Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."...
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