The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.
Thứ Sáu, 13 tháng 8, 2021
The Woman and the Farmer
A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne, too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.'... This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.' 'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he added: 'What are you celebrating?' 'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!' 'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.' 'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?' 'I used a different cock,' he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said 'what a coincidence'!
Two Italian men are talking loudly on a bus in America
One of them is saying:
"First Emma come, then I come, then two asses they come together, then I come again, then the two asses they come again, then I peepee, and I come one last time"
And older lady who hears this, turns to the Italian and scolds him, "I don't know how you people talk in Italy, but in this country, nobody wants to hear such foul language in public!"
The Italian responds, "Scusi lady, I am teaching my friend how to spell Mississippi"
A Drill Sergeant Walks Into a Whore House (long)
A Drill Sergeant walks into a Whore House and asks for a companion for the evening and a lady joins him upstairs in a room.
She starts getting undressed and he decides to show her a trick. The Drill Sergeant says, "Wait, watch this, I wanna show you a trick." He takes off his uniform and hangs it up then says in his most commanding voice, "Dick! ATTENCH-HUN!" and instantly, his dick is hard as a rock. The whore claps and gets excited, asking, "Ooh! Can you do it the other way, too?" "Dick! AT EASE!" and instantly, he's soft again. She claps and says, no way, I totally don't believe it. Do it again.
She claps again like it's the coolest thing she's ever seen. She tells him, "Wait right here, I'll be right back." and leaves the room.
A couple of minutes later, she returns with about 9 of her scantily clad friends, some completely naked, some partially clothed in negligee's and others just in a bra and panties. She tells him, "OK, do it again, so they can all see."
"Dick! ATTENCH-HUN!" and instantly, his dick is hard as a rock again. "Ok, who wants some of this?"
The girls all giggle and the first one says, "Now show 'em the other way, too!"
"Dick! AT EASE!"
"AT EASE!!"
He then turns and starts furiously jacking it off.
The scantily clad girls ask, "OMG, what are you doing!? We can take care of that for you!"
The Drill Sergeant says, "I'm giving him a dishonorable discharge, ma'am."
A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver's license and registration.
When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.
He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”
She responds "I'll bet you $100 you can't guess the answer to that question" as she slaps a crisp bill on her dashboard.
The cop rubs his chin and thinks for a moment and then says " OK lady, I'll take that bet." He guesses that she has a .38 Special in her purse. And a .45 in her glove box. And a 9mm Glock in the center console. And a shotgun in the trunk.
“However did you guess that young man?" The old lady says grasping her pearls.
"You see ma'am," the cop said snatching up the hundred-dollar bill, "This is Reddit. After I read about you on the third repost, I knew I'd find you soon enough."
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