Twas The Night Before Christmas

• Twas the Night before Christmas
• And All Through the house
• Everyone Felt Shitty
• Even the Mouse
• Mom on the Toilet
• Dad smoking grass
• I had just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
• When out on the Roof
• I heard such a clatter
• I spring from my piece to see what was the matter.
• Out on the Roof I saw some old prick.
• I knew in a moment
• it must be ST. Nick.
• He came down the Chimney
• Like a bat out of hell.
• I knew in a second
• the fucker had fell.
• He filled all the stockings
• with whiskey and beer
• and a big rubber dick
• for my brother, the queer.
• He rose up the chimney
• With a thundering fart
• the son of a bitch
• blew my chimney apart
• he swore and he cussed
• as he rode out of sight.
• Piss on you all
• Its been a hell of a Night!