And decided to seek his fortune making breath mints.
He made one set of mints that were saturated in caffeine. It made him a significant amount of money but people complained about being a little too agitated by them.
He followed up with a heavily alcoholic variety, which was very well received and made him millions, but which had the unfortunate effect of being too effective at sedating the users. There were numerous reports of half-dissolved breath mints becoming lodged in unconscious purchasers' airways, causing asphyxiation and eventually death. This news led the Redditor into a great depression.
His son tried to cheer him up. "Dad," the son said, "Your breath mints are a huge commercial success! I'm eating one of your caffeinated mints and feel terrific!"
"Son," the Redditor wistfully explained, "The real choke is always in the calm mints."
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