Three plastic surgeons meet at a conference...

The first, an Australian, talks about the latest triumph in Australian reconstruction. 'A guy was torn apart by dingoes. All we had left was his right ear. We took the ear, reconstructed the entire body and now he's back at work. As a matter of fact, he replaced six men.'

The English plastic surgeon promptly tops the story. 'We had a nuclear accident at a power station, and all that was left was a single hair. We took that hair, reconstructed the entire human being and now he's back at work at the power station. Where he's replaced twenty men.'

The American plastic surgeon is unimpressed. 'I was walking through New York a few years ago and smelt a fart. I trapped it in a bottle, got back to the hospital, managed to constitute it into an asshole and then into an entire human body. That bloke's now the President of The United States, and he's put millions of people out of work.'