A boy come home from school and says "Guess what mom? I had sex with my teacher today!"

The mother is furious, frustrated, and mortified all at once and scream to her son:

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!! YOUR FATHER WILL DEAL WITH YOU WHEN HE COMES HOME!!!"

So after a short dinner, and a long conversation, the boy hears his dad thumping down the hallway to his room. The father opens the door, and says with a stern voice:

"Your mother told me about your day at school... I can't tell you how deeply, seriously, and truly PROUD I AM OF YOU!! HIGH FIVE BUD! For you to get it in, at your age, with a teacher?! I love that my young man's a STUD! To celebrate you being AWESOME, you're getting a brand new bike. Right now, let's go!"

So the proud father and son walk to the bike store and walk out with a new set of wheels. The father says:

"There she is son, how about you ride this baby home?!"

The son replies:

"Dad, I'd love to but I can't, my asshole still hurts!"