I mean it's 2019. Why aren't we using metric yet?
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Fuck you that just was a lucky guess.
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When erect it proudly reads Wendy on the side of his shaft, but when soft it only shows Wy . While on his honeymoon in the Caribbean, he ...
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It's hard to make out where the gunshots are actually coming from
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http://ift.tt/1vjvj9Z
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Mind explode . On the latest episode of comedian Marc Maron's WTF podcast, the former Pretenders' lead singer Chrissie Hynde unpack...
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When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed h...
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They are just different here. A raccoon in your neighbourhood: Chillin', raccoonin'. Creative Commons / Flickr: harlequeen Pete...
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When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it ...
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Customer: Cargo space? Me: Car no do that. Car no fly. Manager: Can I see you in my office?
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2019
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- My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for hall...
- Courtesy of my 5 year old: Why did Dracula take co...
- Oedipus joke
- A man in an interrogation room says “I’m not sayin...
- Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 ye...
- People often accuse me of “stealing other’s jokes”...
- [Introducing My girlfriend to my family]
- "Knock, knock" "Who's there?" "Norway" "Norway who?"
- After my grandfather died, I inherited some of his...
- A young lad walks into a pharmacy and says to the ...
- My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jeho...
- A teacher gave her class
- My Gran said to me, “Young men of today just aren’...
- What do you call intelligent people in America?
- My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can...
- Why didn't Barbie get pregnant?
- A guy walks into a bar and orders a punch
- TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween
- I got fired for wearing a mini-skirt to work
- Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
- A tree fell and destroyed a quarter of my roof yes...
- My Communist girlfriend is a real psycho....
- Yesterday I went to temporary tattoo parlour and g...
- A nun gets into a cab and notices that the driver ...
- Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail?
- I hired an expert to exorcise my house, but I can’...
- I had a scary math joke...
- I went to a gender reveal party yesterday
- Guess who stopped smoking this morning?
- Does anyone else hate it when a girl pulls the “I ...
- The CEO of Valve walks into a bar with two of his ...
- How did a sexy but unqualified Japanese woman get ...
- r/jokes has a discord and you need to join!
- A teacher asks the class, “What are some examples ...
- I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
- How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
- I'm hosting a charity event for people who struggl...
- If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounc...
- A son and daughter walk up to their father.
- There was an old man who lived by a forest.
- As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I c...
- I discovered red crayons in my girlfriends nurse u...
- Police have arrested a man for having sex with fru...
- A woman in labor suddenly shouted out “Shouldn’t! ...
- If you boil your funny bone, it becomes a laughing...
- PASSWORD PROBLEMS ( LONG ONE )
- Science created skyscraper and planes.
- We tried Plan a, b, c, d but none have worked.
- I met the man who invented the part of a map that ...
- An Englishman,a Frenchman,a Spaniard and a German ...
- Vaccinated kids are much more likely to have autism
- Golf Joke...What do you call the part of the body ...
- The accident
- Mars: I’m wet.
- A Brexit walks into a bar.
- A drunk man staggers into an empty church. He look...
- Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"
- There’s no way video games cause violence.
- My approximately 6 year old cousin told me this joke
- Why does Reddit have two "D"s?
- A programmer's wife tells him as he leaves the hou...
- An old pilot is telling some schoolchildren about ...
- What do pedophile vampires do to relax?
- Why is the KKK against triathlons?
- After you die, what part of your body is the last ...
- A blind prostitute told me I had the biggest dick ...
- An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
- Life is like a dick
- Pregnant wife: What should we call it if it’s a girl?
- Otherwise
- My wife said this sub is nothing but the same recy...
- Little johnny wakes up one night hearing noises fr...
- When I see lovers' nαmes cαrved in α tree, I don't...
- If there’s one thing that makes me throw up.
- Did you know it's illegal to water your plants in ...
- A farmer is lying in bed with his wife....
- My wife packed my bags and kicked me out of the ho...
- My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end ...
- Two Italian men get on a bus.
- “Doc, all my 5 kids want to be valets when they gr...
- I tripped over my girlfriends bra
- If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with...
- The man who invented velcro died.
- I removed the shell from my racing snail to make i...
- 2 brothers open a weed shop.
- Dad: Son, you're adopted.
- As my wife and I lay in bed together, I felt the t...
- I got a job making plastic Draculas for Halloween.
- A bear walks into a bar.
- The frog
- Study shows women are turning into good drivers
- Why is suicide illegal in China?
- My wife really hates that I have no sense of direc...
- Warning: to some, this joke is sexist / religiousl...
- 3 spies from England, France and Italy were sent t...
- I have the unique ability to eat two pieces of str...
- A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church
- An arrogant, wealthy man passed away one day
- Just got my ticket to the Fibonacci convention!
- The man who invented autocorrect has died.
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