They were swiftly captured and told they would be killed, cooled, eaten, and their skin would be used to line the tribe’s canoes, but they would be able to choose how they died.
The first man, a British man, decided he wanted to die by the sword. In an instant, a tribesman cut his head off. He was then cooked, eaten, and skinned.
The second man, a Frenchman, decided he wanted to be killed by the gun. He was immediately shot, and the same happened to his body.
The third man, an American, said “I’d like to be stabbed all over with a fork until I die.” Puzzled, a member of the tribe began stabbing him. After about 20 minutes, the American was still clinging to life. The tribesman said “why?! Why did you choose this way of death?! We’re cannibals but even we don’t like to see this kind of torture!”
The American looked up at the tribesman and said “F*CK YOUR CANOES!”
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