Not having sex tonight

One evening last week，my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well，the passion starts to heat up，and she eventually says，‘I don‘t feel like it，I just want you to hold me.‘

I said，‘WHAT??!! What was that?!‘

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear....

‘You are just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.‘

She responded to my puzzled look by saying，‘Can‘t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?‘

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night，I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big，big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn‘t decide which one to take，so I told her we‘d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes，so I said，‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.‘

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn‘t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said，‘That‘s fine，honey.‘ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation，she finally said，‘I think this is all dear，let‘s go to the cashier.‘

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out，‘No honey，I don‘t feel like it.‘

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled，‘WHAT?‘

I then said，‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You are just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.‘

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me，I added，‘Why can‘t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?‘

Apparently I am not having sex tonight.