You can only be one.
Polydor
Thứ Bảy, 31 tháng 10, 2015
13 Animals Totally Nailing This Halloween Thing
Who says it’s just a holiday for humans?
This guy is being a tree.
This cat has been planning her costume as "The Yard" since July.
This lizard is doing a fine job as a cake topper.
reddit.com / Via imgur.com
This panda is a very convincing bamboo tree.
This Goldendoodle Won Halloween
A truly strong Halloween showing from Oliver the Goldendoodle, who is a dead ringer for everyone’s favorite cat enthusiast.
That's Alf, for you youngs. And here's Oliver capturing his very essence.
Props to Oliver for reminding us of the happier times when the only thing anyone ever had to worry about was whether a lovable alien would steal their cat for a sandwich.
Oliver does a pretty great Corduroy too.
And Fozzie Bear.
The story about the skunk in the road.
A husband and wife are driving down a country road during a thunderstorm. Suddenly the wife spots an injured skunk in the middle of the road, being an animal lover she tell the husband to pull over. She gets out and picks up the skunk and takes it into the car.
"It's so cold, it's shivering!" She said.
"So put it between your legs, it's nice and warm there" Said the husband.
"But what about the awful stink?" She asked.
"Well plug its' nose, that's what I do."
17 Dogs Who Absolutely Hate Halloween
“Make it stop”-these dogs
The pup who was the only one to wear a costume to daycare.
And the one who literally faked dying to not go out in this outfit.
This guy who really thinks the wig is a bit much.
These two unamused penguins.
People Are Dressing Their Pets As Beanie Babies And It's Almost Too Much
Has cuteness finally gone too far?
Remember Beanie Babies? Those cute little toys from the '90s everyone thought would be worth something some day.
Flickr: bludgeoner86 / BuzzFeed
They're back and cuter than ever.
Pet owners everywhere are slaying the dress-up game with a simple yet ingenious costume idea.
All you need is a homemade TY tag....
A man is at his doctor ...
... And the doctor asks the man to pull down his pants and sit on the bench as the doctor examines him.
The doctor says "Don't worry, it's totally normal to get an erection at this moment".
The man says "But I don't have an erection" "No but I do" the doctor replied.
ESPN Just Killed Grantland — Here Are Some Of Our Favorite Stories
ESPN Just Killed Grantland — Here Are Some Of Our Favorite Stories
Grantland, ESPN's excellent sports and culture site, was unceremoniously shut down on Friday, a little over four years after its launch and several months after ESPN booted founder Bill Simmons. Here are some of our favorite stories from over the years.
October 31, 2015 at 02:45AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1M1mVQV
White guy goes to prison... (NSFW)
To his dismay, he's put in a cell with a very large black man. After a few moments of silence, the black man says in a deep, booming voice, "There's one thing we gotta get straight right now if we're gonna be in this cell together. We gots to figure out who's gonna be the husband and who's gonna be the wife. I'll let you decide."
The white guy is shaken, and thinks for a moment through all of the ramifications of his decision. Finally he says, "Okay, I'll be the husband."
The black guys says, "That's fine with me. Now get over here and suck yo wife's dick."
15 Songs You Loved (But Forgot About) From 10 Years Ago
Remember Howie Day lol?
"Listen To Your Heart" by D.H.T.
Why this song spoke to you: Remember puberty? Remember longingly staring out of your bedroom window pretending to be sad? This song went hand in hand with both of those.
"Just The Girl" by The Click 5
Why this song spoke to you: Backstreet Boys + All-American Rejects + funny hair = The Click 5. They were like the perfect mix of everything you cared about in 2005.
Why I won't carpool.
I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
5 year old son after reading a story about a king...
Son:......Mom, I also want 5 wives.....one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.......
Mom:....And one will put you to sleep
Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears ... God bless you son
Mom:...but who will sleep with your 5 wives
Son...Let them sleep with daddy
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son !
19 Songs To Listen To When The Patriarchy's Got You Down
WHO RUN THIS MOTHER???
Beyoncé, "Run The World (Girls)"
If someone is making you feel less than, there's nothing more satisfying to scream than "WHO RUN THIS MOTHER? GIRLS!!"
Best patriarchy-smashing lyric: "Boy I know you love it / How we're smart enough to make these millions / Strong enough to bear the children / Then get back to business"
Columbia
Little Mix and Missy Elliot, "How Ya Doin'?"
Perfect when you're not in the mood to be texting with any fuckboys. Also, there's a Missy Elliot rap.
Best patriarchy-smashing lyric: "It's been so long since you have treated me like I deserved / So long, baby, I'm gone / You can leave a message for me after the tone."
Syco
Christina Aguilera and Lil' Kim, "Cant Hold Us Down"
Christina and Lil' Kim go IN on this song. It's the best anthem for being loud and unapologetic about your feminism.
Best patriarchy-smashing lyric: "This is for my girls all around the world / Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth / Thinking all women should be seen, not heard"
RCA
Janelle Monáe and Erykah Badu, "Q.U.E.E.N."
This song is a middle finger to anyone who tells women, or anyone, how they should act.
Best patriarchy-smashing lyric: "She who writes the movie owns the script and the sequel. / So why ain't the stealing of my rights made illegal?"
Wondaland / Bad Boy
Happy Halloween From A Tiny Hamster And His Friends
Ain’t no Halloween party like a tiny hamster Halloween party!
The tiny hamster got the party started as Pizza Rat...
...while his bunny friend totally pulled off the Trump look...
...and this guinea pig rounded out the group as a scene from the Mission:Impossible movie this year.
There were so many treats! Not a trick was in sight.
Thứ Sáu, 30 tháng 10, 2015
12 Animals Who Can't Tell What You Are For Halloween
You tried to get creative and now it’s just awkward for everyone involved.
"OK wait, give me one more guess..."
Bruce / Cute or Not
"What...in the hell...."
Cute or Not
"Oh sorry I thought you were being a cat."
Bruno / Cute or Not
"I'm going to pretend like I don't see you so that I'm not expected to identify your costume because I have no friggin' clue what you are."
Jojo / Cute or Not
Here's What Ariana Grande Really Means When She Sings "Focus On Me"
“When I say ‘focus on me’ I’m not asking to be the center of attention.”
It’s here! After months — literally months — of hype, Ariana Grande finally released her new single, “Focus,” last night.
Republic Records / Via instagram.com
The track is a brassy, "Problem"-esque banger with Ariana commanding the listener to "focus on me" in her trademark melismatic way.
While, on first listen, the song sounds like a warning to an ungrateful lover, "Focus" is actually intended to be an anthem of acceptance and empowerment.
ArianaGrandeVEVO
"When I say 'focus on me' I'm not asking to be the center of attention," Ariana explained in a vlog earlier this month. "I'm not asking for you to focus on my clothes or my face or my body or my singing voice."
A Day In The Life Of A London Pigeon
They will shit on everything you love.
8:05am
Pigeons will sleep literally anywhere, but no one knows exactly where that is. This particular pigeon has woken up in a pungent, discarded shoe in Hammersmith.
Sian Butcher / BuzzFeed
9:00am
For breakfast, they usually eat the soggy, flaccid remains of the chips on the pavement outside the Kebab Express. They are not picky: Anything that will slide straight through the digestive system in under 45 minutes is ideal.
Sian Butcher / BuzzFeed
10:15am
Pigeons like shitting on stuff. Mid-morning, they fly vigilantly around central London, looking for the most unsoiled car. The posher, the better. Once they have found it, they do a poo on it.
Sian Butcher / BuzzFeed
11:10am
By late morning you've been at work for hours, and a pigeon has been sitting on the window ledge by your desk for 45 minutes. It's been staring at you and it's unnerving, and you call Gina from accounts to distract yourself. When you next glance at the window, the pigeon has left a cryptic message on the concrete using breadcrumbs.
Sian Butcher / BuzzFeed
A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous.
While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says:
- There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry.
She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs.
The doctor says:
- What's so funny?
She answers:
-I'm imagining how they make condoms.
This Metal Band Just Did The Nicest Damn Thing Ever
It’s all about love. NOW LET’S HEADBANGGGGGGGGG.
The sixth edition of Harley Rock Riders is being held in Mumbai today and tomorrow, and with thrash metal giants Megadeth headlining, it promises to be one hell of a gig.
Ethan Miller / Getty Images
However, due to some permission issues, the event had to be postponed from its original starting time, which led to four bands having their sets cancelled altogether.
People Are Furious With Billboard For "Sexualizing" North West
Many believe Billboard’s now-deleted tweet was comparing North West licking to a lollipop to a scene from Kim Kardashian’s sex tape.
Late Thursday night Billboard posted this tweet, which users believe was sexualizing North West.
The story was actually about the 2-year-old talking back to the paparazzi, but many felt like the tweet alluded to her mother's sex tape.
Can We Guess Why Justin Bieber Is Apologising To You?
It’s never too late to say sorry, Justin.
Giuseppe Cacace / Getty Images / Via Patrick Campbell / BuzzFeed
These Tiny Kittens Were Reunited With Their Mum After They Were Abandoned Outside A Vet's Clinic
A story with a purrfect ending.
Vets at the Mill Road Vet Clinic in Whangarei, New Zealand, discovered a box of four abandoned kittens on their doorstep.
Road Vet Clinic / Road Vet Clinic/REX Shutterstock
The following day, the vets noticed an older cat lurking around the clinic.
"We noticed a tabby hanging around our front door, trying to sneak in every time a client arrived. When we realised it wasn't going to go away, we picked her up and discovered she was a feeding mum."
Road Vet Clinic / Road Vet Clinic/REX Shutterstock
The staff were quick to realise the adult tabby WAS THE MOTHER OF THE KITTENS, desperate to reunite with her kids.
Road Vet Clinic / Road Vet Clinic/REX Shutterstock
Reunited, the kittens and their mum are being fostered by a family member of the clinic's staff.
Road Vet Clinic / Road Vet Clinic/REX Shutterstock
This Girl Texted Adele Lyrics To Her Ex And It Did Not Go Well
“Hello from the other side.”
And let's just say, he didn't take it very well.
Caldarella's tweet blew up, being retweeted over 10,000 times now. "I just wanted to see how he would respond," she told Cosmo. "He definitely wasn't happy about [the tweet]."
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits.
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
Easy way to search your wife.
A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket." "Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere!"
Justin Bieber Stormed Off Stage Because His Fans Wouldn't Let Him Wipe The Floor
Maybe it’s promo for his new single “Sorry”?
Everything went down after Bieber tried to wipe the stage with a flannel but his fans kept grabbing it, thus preventing Bieber from being able to complete his wiping.
After Bieber repeatedly told them to stop, the fans kept grabbing so he told them he was "done" and that he "wasn't going to do a show."
17 Times Pop Culture Gave A Nod To HBCUs
Music, movies, and your favorite television shows.
Tons of schools have gotten recognized in pop culture, and it's an amazing feeling when you see your school repped in a show you love or by a celeb you admire.
NBC Productions / freshprinceofbelairgifs.tumblr.com
Like when real HBCU bands competed in Drumline.
Don't try to lie and say this wasn't your favorite movie at some point. Nick Cannon's character Devon Miles plays drums for fictional HBCU Atlanta A&T University, but a number of actual HBCU bands compete in the climax of the film, including Grambling State University, Morris Brown College, and Clark Atlanta University.
Fox 2000 Pictures / vh1.tumblr.com
Or when Hollywood madeThe Great Debaters.
Based on the true story of Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College who inspired students to form the school's first debate team, the movie follows a group of HBCU students as they compete against various schools before defeating Harvard. In real life, however, the team did not compete against Harvard in the national championship but the University of Southern California, which they defeated.
David Lee / AP
Ken M Is The Most Epic Troll On The Internet
Ken M Is The Most Epic Troll On The Internet
Ken M has achieved what few trolls can dare to dream of. He has his own dedicated subreddit, with 58k subscribers, /r/KenM. The subreddit’s been around for years, just like Ken M, who has collected a following for his deft acts of trolling as the world’s least-informed commenter.
October 29, 2015 at 10:41PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1LCHoOa
Heard this one from a scientist last night
Two scientists walk into a bar:
“I’ll have an H2O.”
“I’ll have an H2O, too.”
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.
22 Questions For People Who Don't Like Dogs
First of all….WHAT????
Seriously, WHAT??????
Is this a joke???
Some sort of sick, nasty joke?
This little poof doesn't melt your heart?
Does seeing this beautiful ray of sunshine smiling up at you NOT make you think wonderful things?
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