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Thứ Năm, 21 tháng 3, 2019

During my prostate exam, my doctor told me it’s perfectly normal to become aroused and even ejaculate.

That being said, I still wish he hadn’t.

Guy Shows His Mom And Grandma Tesla's 

Guy Shows His Mom And Grandma Tesla's 
Automated parking is cool (who likes parking, anyway?), but we're really here for the reaction from comedian and singer Lil Duval's mom.

March 20, 2019 at 10:20PM
via Digg

Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts meeting

I see a lot of new faces today.

My girlfriend said if I turned off the light, I could stick it in her ass.

After I tried, she freaked out and told me never again.

I guess the bulb was hot.

A Syrian kid in France.

 A Syrian kid and his refugee family move to France. On his first day of school his teacher asks him "what is your name?". To which he politely responds, "My name is Abdul and I am from Syria (Middle-East accent)..She abruptly stops him and corrects him. 

"No! From now on you are French and your name is Jacque.". He ponders it over and agrees, you're right I am French now and my name is Jacque. Upon arriving home his mother asks him how his first day at school was? He abruptly stops her and tells his mother he is French now and that she needs to call him Jacque. She proceeds to beat the shit out of him and reminds him that he is Syrian and his name is Abdul. She also tells him to wait and see what his father thinks when he arrives. Upon arrival, and finding out, his father beats the shit out of him and reminds him that he is Syrian and his name is Abdul.
The next day at school, the teacher in shock asks him, "OMG! What happened to your face?!" He responds: "You would not believe it! Less than 2 hours after becoming French, I was brutally attacked by 2 Islamic terrorists!"

BJ for Sore Throat

"You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.

"You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My throat really hurts."

Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat I give my husband oral sex and the next day I feel great."

Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better.

"You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?"

Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!"