Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Funny Video

Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)

Funny Picture

Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)

Funny Game

Play game and comfortable :)

Funny Funny

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Thứ Ba, 23 tháng 10, 2018

CFL Cornerback Taunts Receiver, Promptly Gets Destroyed


CFL Cornerback Taunts Receiver, Promptly Gets Destroyed
And we're not talking the metaphorical "the receiver burned him and made the catch" kind of "destroyed," either.

October 22, 2018 at 09:03PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2Pdr2pj

Serve alcohol at a party and nobody bats an eye

But serve laxatives and everybody loses their shit

Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? Me: You promise not to get mad no matter what i say? Wife: Yes

Me: I fucked your sister

A good bar joke that always makes women laugh

Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean.

So was the rest of the house. He took the aspirins, and cringed when he saw a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!"

He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son was also at the table, eating.

Jack asked, "Son, what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??

His son replied, "Oh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bathroom to clean you up, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!"

An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel.

When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin.

Customs: What is that?

Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker's paradise!

The official laughed and let the old man through.

The old man arrived at Tel Aviv airport, where an Israeli customs official found the bust of Lenin.

Customs: What is that?

Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The sonofabitch! I will put him on display in my toilet for all the years he prevented an old man from coming home.

The official laughed and let him through.

When he arrived at his family's house in Jerusalem, his grandson saw him unpack the bust.

Grandson: Who is that?

Old man: Who is that? Who is that?! Don't say "Who is that?" say "What is that?" That, my child, is eight pounds of gold!

If you are on a blind date, try opening with a joke you found here on this sub.

That way you can make sure it’s not some weirdo who is on Reddit.

Thứ Hai, 22 tháng 10, 2018

Had sex last night,

I had sex last night with 2 blonde hair, blue eyed 18 year old twins that I met in a bar.

I was telling my best friend about it this morning and he said "I don't understand the attraction, wouldn't it be like just having sex twice with the same person? Could you even tell them apart?"

I said "Sure Kim had a cute little beauty mark just under her chin, and her twin Tim has a dick."