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FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

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Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)

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Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)

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Thứ Hai, 30 tháng 11, 2015

Here's Why Adopting A Pet Is The Best Idea Ever

“I’m just a dog standing in front of a camera asking you to love me. What do you say?”

World For All, a stray animal welfare organisation in Mumbai, just released some doggy dating videos (feat. cat) which show why adopting a pet is a great idea.

World For All, a stray animal welfare organisation in Mumbai, just released some doggy dating videos (feat. cat) which show why adopting a pet is a great idea.

World For All

They make excellent subjects for all your ridiculous photo projects.

They make excellent subjects for all your ridiculous photo projects.

World For All

They provide hours and hours of endless entertainment for you.

They provide hours and hours of endless entertainment for you.

World For All

And sometimes they're just so freakin' cute that they'll take your damn breath away.

And sometimes they're just so freakin' cute that they'll take your damn breath away.

World For All


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A woman arrived at a party

A woman arrived at a party & while scanning the guests she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose Carmen." "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."

A lady had just stepped under the shower when she heardher doorbell ring...

Figuring whoever it was could wait, she chose to ignore the bells. After 30 seconds, the bell was again pressed followed by a man inquiring "Is anybody home? Its the blind man from town."

Annoyed, the lady quickly dried off and without bothering to clothe herself raced down the stairs.

As she opened the door with nothing on but the radio, she was greeted by a shocked by smiling man.

"Nice tits.... where do you want the blinds?"

Give a man a jacket

He'll be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket he won't leave the house.

3 clueless men

Three very conservative men were sitting in a bar discussing their daughters.

The first man said: "I am so disappointed in my little girl. I was going through her room the other day, and found a bottle of Vodka. I did not know she drank"

The second man continued: "I know how you feel. I was going through my princess' room and found a pack of cigarettes. I had no idea that she smoked."

The third man looked at his friends longingly: "you two are very lucky. I found a condom in my daughter's room. I had no idea that she had a penis."

A little boy is trying to peel the lid off his tub of yoghurt..

He gets frustrated and yells "fuckin' lid!".

His mother turns to his father and says "where do you think he got that from?"

The father says "the fuckin' fridge you dumb cunt".

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$65,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

Where's your bin?

A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin.

"Hey bub, where's ya bin`" "I took a little vacation for a few weeks," "No. I meant where's your bin?" "Told ya, vacation, at the beach!" "No man. Where's ya wheely bin?" "Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"

Fishermen Rescue Struggling Wombat After Finding Him Swimming In A Lake

“He just sat patiently and waited for us to take him back to the shore.”

Craig Wilson / The Advocate / Via theadvocate.com.au

Craig Wilson and his stepfather Bob Wilton were fishing for trout on Woods Lake in central Tasmania when they spotted the wombat who appeared to be drowning.

The pair quickly came to the adorable animal's rescue and scooped him up in a net.

Craig Wilson / The Advocate / Via theadvocate.com.au

"It was a pretty rough and windy day. I think he probably got blown into the water and started swimming in the wrong direction.

"At first I thought he was a platypus but as we got closer I saw he was too big. And then when we got closer I saw his was a wombat. I told Craig to net him because he seemed pretty distressed," Wilton said.

"He kept falling out of the net so I picked him up and put him in the boat. Wombat's can be quite aggressive but he just sat patiently and waited for us to take him back to the shore. When we put him out of the boat he just waddled off into the bush."


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I can totally relate to batteries

I'm not included in anything either.

What do zero and nil have in common?

Absolutely Nothing

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.

I was kicked out of the army because I got gonorrhea

It was a dishonorable discharge

Which Red Hot Chili Peppers Member Are You?

“Several of my best friends wear, the colors of the crown…”


Which Halsey Song Are You?

Are you a wanderess or a one night stand?


Can You Identify The 5 Seconds Of Summer Music Video From The Screencap?

This is heartache on the big screen.


We Know Which Christmas Song You Should Listen To

It’s joyful and triumphant.

CORRECTION: 2 of Santa's reindeer are Donner and Blitzen, not Dunder and Blixem.


Drake Dancing To "Hotline Bling" With His Mom Will Melt Your Heart

They know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing.

Last Wednesday, the Toronto Raptors held their annual Drake Night in honor of the rapper, who happens to be the team's Brand Ambassador.

Instagram: @http://ift.tt/1XBb5m2

Drizzy brought along a special date for the night's festivities: his mom, Sandi Graham.

Instagram: @http://ift.tt/1Ii62VX

Because there's nothing like date night with your mama.

Instagram: @http://ift.tt/1XBb5m6

It's important to note that Drake loves his mom very much.

instagram.com


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13 Questions BSB And NKOTB Fans Are Tired Of Hearing

Just, shhhhh.

"New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys are still around?"

"New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys are still around?"

D U H.

JIVE

"You mean Backseat/Backdoor Boys?"

"You mean Backseat/Backdoor Boys?"

You're simply jealous that you'll never be Mr. Nickolas Gene Carter.

JIVE

"Aren’t you too old to like boy bands?"

How can one be too old to like boy bands? Should old people not like rap, because I’m pretty sure Snoop Dogg is close to 40. I mean, really.

instagram.com

"Oh my God, I used to love them when I was little and cried when Backstreet Boys broke up."

"Oh my God, I used to love them when I was little and cried when Backstreet Boys broke up."

*Deep breath* WRONG. BAND.

JIVE


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Avril Lavigne And Nick Carter Released A Single And It's A Pop Dream

Two of your nostalgic faves are makin’ some tunes.

Hi. If you were a '90s kid or have listened to pop music at least once in your life, you know the Backstreet Boys, and you know Nick Carter.

Hi. If you were a '90s kid or have listened to pop music at least once in your life, you know the Backstreet Boys, and you know Nick Carter.

JIVE

And if you were a rebellious skater kid in the '00s, you definitely know about the badassness that is Avril Lavigne.

And if you were a rebellious skater kid in the '00s, you definitely know about the badassness that is Avril Lavigne.

Arista Records


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15 People Who Are Definitely Not On The Drake Train

“Hotlines don’t bling, they blink.” Via Whisper.

Someone who thinks Drake could get the early-bird special at Denny's.

View Video ›

whisper.sh

This person who is hung up on the details:

View Video ›

whisper.sh

Someone who can't live with their own feelings.

View Video ›

whisper.sh

Someone who wouldn't be swiping right if Drake was on Tinder.

View Video ›

whisper.sh


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We Know Which Katy Perry Song Matches Your Zodiac Sign

Baby, you’re a firework.


An American spy goes to Soviet Russia.

An American spy is in Soviet Russia. He is digging up information on a powerful Russian politician, and is pretending to be a Russian.

He finds the politician in a bar, and walks in, dressed in Russian attire. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink, and walks to the politician.

"Greetings, comrade", says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy".

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained spy, he says, "that is not true, I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"

He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully. Everybody in the bar cheers.

"Very good, very good!", says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."

The man continues to keep his cool. "I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!". He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America, and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.

"Amazing! You are skilled!", says the politician. The spy smirks. "But I still think you American spy." The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed. He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"

The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest. The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka. After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.

In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."

The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up. "Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"

The Russian politician replies, "there aren't many black people in Russia."

The Lost History Of A Deadly Boxing Match On The USS Yankee


The Lost History Of A Deadly Boxing Match On The USS Yankee
In 1905, at the dawn of America’s empire under Teddy Roosevelt, a black sailor and a Jewish sailor boxed in a makeshift ring on the deck of a U.S. Navy ship. What was intended to be entertainment for hundreds of idle soldiers instead turned into a tragedy, marking a pivotal, if overlooked, moment in the history of race in the American military.

November 30, 2015 at 01:03AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1l0svg6

What does someone with a foot fetish wish for?

To meet their solemate.

Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares the fuck out of the dog.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose

No text found

When my first wife lost her credit card, I didn't report it.

Because whoever found it was spending less than she was.

My brother just threw a carton of milk at me

wtf , how dairy

A man takes his seat at the World Cup Final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.

The man: “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy: “That was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man: “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another member of the family, friend, or someone else to come with you?”

The guy: “No…they are all at the funeral!”

How Evil Is Your Cat?

Is your cat just a bit cheeky? Or do they actually want to kill you?


This Tiny Canadian House Has A Tiny Adorable Corgi Elevator And We Can't Handle It

The elevator was built for a corgi, so now your world is complete.

CBC News

Howling Dog Construction


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We Can Tell If You're A Cat Or Dog Person Based Off Your Taste In Avengers

We all have our tells.


The Oldest Known Seabird, An Albatross Named Wisdom, Has Returned To Her Island

Wisdom checks her egg in 2014.

Greg Joder via U.S. Fish & Wildlife

The world's oldest known seabird, a 64-year-old Laysan albatross named Wisdom, has returned to the remote Midway Atoll in the North Pacific, a milestone federal wildlife officials heralded in a Thanksgiving Day announcement.

"It is very humbling to think that she has been visiting Midway for at least 64 years," Bret Wolfe, a manager at the Midway Atoll National Wildlife Refuge, said in a statement. "Navy sailors and their families likely walked by her not knowing she could possibly be rearing a chick over 50 years later. She represents a connection to Midway's past as well as embodying our hope for the future."

A field of Laysan albatross incubate their eggs on Eastern Island in the Midway Atoll National Wildlife Refuge in 2005.

Lucy Pemoni / Associated Press

The refuge is within the Papahānaumokuākea Marine National Monument on the atoll, a remote U.S. territory north of the Hawaiian archipelago that is about one-third of the way between Honolulu and Tokyo.

According to the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, Wisdom was first tagged in 1956, but because Laysan albatross do not return to breed until they are at least 5 years old, she could be older than 64.

Wisdom is spotted with her mate on Nov. 19.

Kiah Walker via U.S. FIsh & Wildlife

She was spotted with a mate at the world's largest albatross nesting colony on Nov. 19 and is expected to return soon to lay her egg, just as she has done for the past five decades.

Over the course of her life, she has logged an estimated six million ocean miles of flight time, officials said.

Laysan albatrosses typically mate for life, but since Wisdom is so old, she's likely had more than one mate and, according to refuge observers, has raised as many as 36 chicks.

Dan Clark, who also helps manage the refuge, said in a statement that Wisdom's return was a humble reminder of the need to continue to preserve the breeding grounds.

"In the face of dramatic seabird population decreases worldwide – 70% drop since the 1950’s when Wisdom was first banded — Wisdom has become a symbol of hope and inspiration."

Wisdom incubates her egg in 2014.

Greg Joder via USFW


The Toronto Zoo's Baby Pandas Actually Look Like Pandas Now

Has anyone ever noticed how weird panda butts are?

In October, the Toronto Zoo celebrated the birth of twin Giant Panda cubs. Which is great! But let's be honest, newborn pandas are a bit... weird looking.

In October, the Toronto Zoo celebrated the birth of twin Giant Panda cubs. Which is great! But let's be honest, newborn pandas are a bit... weird looking.

Toronto Zoo

They were still cute, of course! Like little naked mole rats.

They were still cute, of course! Like little naked mole rats.

Toronto Zoo

But now, the little darlings have outgrown their incubator and have moved into the fluffy, roly-poly stage of their lives.

But now, the little darlings have outgrown their incubator and have moved into the fluffy, roly-poly stage of their lives.

Toronto Zoo

Look at those precious little paws! Those fuzzy little butts!

Look at those precious little paws! Those fuzzy little butts!

Toronto Zoo


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Two Canadian Guys Rescued A Bald Eagle And Then Took An Epic Selfie

“Everybody thinks it’s like the selfie of the year.”

Michael Fletcher of Sudbury, Ontario was hunting grouse with his brother Neil when they spotted what appeared to be an eagle off in the woods.

Michael Fletcher of Sudbury, Ontario was hunting grouse with his brother Neil when they spotted what appeared to be an eagle off in the woods.

They moved in for a closer look and saw that it was a bald eagle. One of the bird's talons was caught in a trap.

"The bird was pretty calm," he told BuzzFeed Canada. "It was probably tired from trying to fight the trap."

facebook.com

Fletcher took off his jacket and they approached the bird. After a few tries they managed to wrap the eagle in the jacket to prevent it from moving. Then they freed its talon from the trap.

Fletcher took off his jacket and they approached the bird. After a few tries they managed to wrap the eagle in the jacket to prevent it from moving. Then they freed its talon from the trap.

Fletcher had set up his phone to record the rescue. Then his brother has an idea.

"He’s like, 'Oh grab your phone. We should take a selfie.'"

Facebook: michael.fletcher.984

This is the result: Two smiling Sudbury boys with the bald eagle they just rescued. "Everybody thinks it’s like the selfie of the year," Fletcher said.

This is the result: Two smiling Sudbury boys with the bald eagle they just rescued. "Everybody thinks it’s like the selfie of the year," Fletcher said.

Fletcher said the eagle's eyes were remarkable when seen up close. "There's something about them," he said. "And the size of it — the bird is huge."

facebook.com

Amazing.

Amazing.

Facebook: michael.fletcher.984


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"Do you have a vagina?"

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there He asks the lady, 'Do you have a vagina?' She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman, 'Do you have a vagina?' She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, 'Honey, I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again.' The next morning they hear a knock and both run for the door. The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice, 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where the bastard is going with it.' She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question; 'Do you have vagina'? 'Yes, actually I have one,' she says. The man replies.. 'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours?'

Chủ Nhật, 29 tháng 11, 2015

Johnny was in class one day...

and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have sex with him out back in the alley." The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quietly, then asked Johnny to step into the hall. She asked Johnny if his dad was really a stripper in a gay bar and Johnny said "Absolutely not. He's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but I was too embarrassed to say that."

How come Peter Pan is always flying?

Because he Neverlands.

A man on his death bed requested his wife, 3 sons,

his nurse and a camera to be set up to record his final moments. Which were as follows... "To my son David, I leave the 2 blocks of flats in the East end of London," "To my other son Michael , I leave the 4 penthouse's in Chelsea," "and finally to my eldest son Kevin, I leave the big glass building near tower bridge". With that he slipped away. The nurse turned to the wife and said "I never realised your husband was so wealthy, you and your sons are very lucky" His wife swiftly replied "Was he Hell ! He was a "bloody window cleaner!"

I don't understand why women love singing "Let it go"...

...Since most of them keep grudges for life.

I started carrying a gun after an attempted mugging a few years ago

Since then my muggings have been much more successful.

My dad posted a picture of his "Condom challenge fail"

It was a picture of me

Two men were sitting next to each other at Murphy’s Pub in London.

After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland’

The other bloke responds proudly, ‘Yes, that I am!’

The first one says, ‘So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?’

The other bloke answers, ‘I’m from Dublin, I am.’

The first one responds, ‘So am I!’

‘Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin ?’

The other bloke says, ‘A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.’

The first one says, ‘Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?’

The other bloke answers, ‘Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.’

The first one gets really excited and says, ‘And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?’

The other bloke answers, ‘Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.’

The first one exclaims, ‘The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!’

About this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink.

Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, ‘It’s going to be a long night tonight.’

Vicky asks, ‘Why do you say that, Brian?’

‘The Murphy twins are drunk again.’

Why don't pirates drive on mountain roads?

'Scurvy

A gay deer walks into a bar

After a long night he comes stumbling out and says, "I can't believe I just blew 50 bucks in there"

All last night I dreamed I was a muffler...

I woke up exhausted

A bus stops in New York and 2 Italian men get on.

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following(italian accent):

 'Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.' 

The lady can't take this any more,

'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig!' she retorted indignantly.

'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!'

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. '

Who talkin' bouta sex?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi.'

You got to hand it to blind prostitutes...

No text found

Just saw a couple of dudes trying to grab an old lady's purse so I ran over to help.

We got it off her eventually

My son, the mass murderer: ‘What did I miss?’


My son, the mass murderer: ‘What did I miss?’
In 2006, Charlie Roberts walked into an Amish school in Pennsylvania and killed five young girls. His mother talks about trying to comprehend his actions.

November 29, 2015 at 02:57AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1Nh9vnU

$100 Bill

A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? B: No, I was standing on it.

You’ve Definitely A Cute Break With BuzzFeed's Animals Newsletter

The weekday struggle is real — but our Animals newsletter will help.

Have you ever felt like this little guy during your workday?

Have you ever felt like this little guy during your workday?

imgur.com / Via reddit.com

Does getting through round after round of meetings, calls and reports make you feel like this cat?

Does getting through round after round of meetings, calls and reports make you feel like this cat?

imgur.com

Then it’s going to take some serious cute to perk you up — and BuzzFeed’s Animals newsletter is the easiest way to get it!

Then it’s going to take some serious cute to perk you up — and BuzzFeed’s Animals newsletter is the easiest way to get it!

imgur.com / Via reddit.com

When you sign up for the newsletter, you’ll get the cutest of the cute in your inbox three days a week, right when you need it most.

When you sign up for the newsletter, you’ll get the cutest of the cute in your inbox three days a week, right when you need it most.

imgur.com


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How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy?

You put a bounty on his head.

Why did the ghost cross the road?

To come back from the other side.

So the other day, my friend told me that I have no idea what irony meant...

Which was pretty ironic, considering we were at a bus stop.

What do Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen have in common?

Bad blood.

Adam Lambert Plays A Hilarious Game Of "Would You Rather"

He’s had a pretty iconic career in the last six years since catapulting to fame on American Idol. And there's no sign of Adam Lambert slowing down any time soon. Having just released another single,“Another Lonely Night”, BuzzFeed invited him into our London office to play a hilariously fun game of "Would You Rather". And things got risqué quite quickly.

Here's what went down...

Would you rather be a dog or a cat?

Adam: Oh come on. Easy! Dog.

BF: Any particular reason?

Adam: Cats make me sneeze so I'm kind of not into cats. And I feel like I kind of have a personality like a dog.

I'm loyal, I'm loving, affectionate... sometimes I can get a bit hyperactive... and sometimes I like to sniff people's balls.

*Smiles cheekily*

Would you rather be a dinosaur or an alien?

BuzzFeed

Adam: *Thinks for a bit*. Alien.

Would you rather lose all of your followers or break up with a best friend?

BuzzFeed

Adam: Ooh... I think I'd rather lose all of my followers.

I mean, it would be really sad but I mean, priorities.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*Realises he spelt it loose followers instead of lose followers*

Loose followers, haha. I'd like that. Get me some loose followers!

BuzzFeed

Would you rather go about your normal day naked or sleep for a year?



Adam: Lately I think I'd want to sleep for a year. I could use a year of sleep.



That's really hard. But isn't laughing talking?

Would you rather cook like Gordon Ramsay or play tennis like Serena Williams?

Adam: I'd rather cook.

Would you rather drink one gallon of ketchup or one gallon of mustard?

BuzzFeed

Adam: Ew. That's disgusting. One gallon? I feel like one gallon of mustard might put you in the hospital. I like mustard better than ketchup actually but I think ketchup I could deal with more.

Would you rather never laugh again or never talk again?

BuzzFeed

Adam: That's really hard.

Never laugh again or never talk again?

*Thinking face*

But isn't laughing talking?

BF: It depends how you do it, I guess.

Adam: So you mean all I can do is laugh? That's the only thing that would come out of my mouth?

BF: Yep, soz.

*Thinks*

That might be more fun.

I'd rather not talk again.

That would get me really frustrated after a while.


Would you rather wear the same underwear for a week or the same socks for a month?

BuzzFeed

Adam: Same socks. It's furthest away from my nose, you know.

Would you rather wear a snow suit in the desert or be naked in Antarctica?

Laura Gallant/BuzzFeed

Adam: Snow suit in the desert! Actually how long would this have to be for?

BF: Not too long.

Adam: *Approves of his choice* Lose a little weight, sweat it out. I think there's a treatment in LA that you can get done that's basically that. Actually, I think maybe it's the other way around. Maybe it's a cold one. Diets these days ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Would you rather fight a horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?

BuzzFeed

Adam: A whore?

BF: No, a HORSE-sized duck.

Adam: Whore-sized? I like the whore duck. Just one. I mean, even if they were small a hundred of those guys would be overwhelming. I think they might win.

Would you rather give up cheese or oral sex?

BuzzFeed

Adam: *Decides immediately*. Cheese, duh. I already did give up cheese. That is not a hard question.

Would you rather smell like poop and not know it or constantly be smelling poop that nobody else can smell?

Laura Gallant/BuzzFeed

Adam: *Scrunches up face* Shit! Ooh, that's hard. For how long?

BF: Forever.

Adam: Oh nooo! *Laughs*

If you were smelling it constantly maybe you could come up with a way to close your nose or whatever. *Thinks* Ignorance is bliss. (He chooses other people smelling him).


Would you rather be itchy for the rest of your life or sticky for the rest of your life?

BuzzFeed

Adam: Ergghh. I hate being itchy. Errgghhh. I hate being sticky. I hate both of those things. I think (I'd be) sticky.

Would you rather have the hiccups for the rest of your life or always feel like you want to sneeze but not be able to?

Laura Gallant/BuzzFeed

Adam: (Sneezing) Oh that's the worst thing. But hiccups are really bad too. For the rest of your life? I think hiccups. I would work it into some sort of percussion routine, make it part of my job. Keep it in time to my songs.

And finally...

Would you rather secretly have sex with a goat or have everyone think you had sex with a goat even though you didn’t?

BuzzFeed

Adam: *Bursts out laughing* I'd rather everyone think I had sex with a goat.

BF: Everyone would think you had sex with a goat.

Adam: You would care less that everyone thought it than you having to take that goat dick. I mean, that's rough. *Laughs, does goat impression, leaves*

BuzzFeed

Adam Lambert’s new single, “Another Lonely Night”, from his album The Original High, is out now. You can watch the video for it here. Go get it!


We Need To Talk About The Magical Fierceness Of Fleur East

Move over, everyone else.

This is Fleur East. She's a London-born artist who competed on the second series of "The X Factor" in 2005.

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Fleur performed as a member of the girl group Addictiv Ladies, and formed a solo career in 2012.

She returned to "The X Factor" as a solo artist in 2014 as well.

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This is her slaying Bruno Mars' "Uptown Funk" back in 2014.

Funkin' amazing.

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Now, Fleur's returned to the spotlight and is serving up more fierceness than ever before.

Instagram: @http://ift.tt/1YyiGnG


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Photographers are so violent.

They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you.

Confucius say: Nazi soldier who popular with ladies may be Hungaryan.

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Thứ Bảy, 28 tháng 11, 2015

A guy was walking to a bar...

...and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."

Where do you find a dog that has no legs?

Where you left it.

Theory vs reality

A boy comes home with the assignment of learning theory vs reality. So he asks his dad for help. "Ok son, ask your sister if she'd sleep with Justin Bieber for a million bucks." Kid comes back and says "Yeah dad she would." "Ok now ask your mom if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks." Kid ask his mom. "Mom said she sure would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks." Dad says "Now in THEORY we have two million dollars, in REALITY..... we live with a couple of whores."

Why does it suck to work for the NSA during the winter?

Because if it snows, you can't call and say you're snowed in.

I saved 15% on car insurance by switching....

The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident

Why can't mexicans play uno?

They steal all the green cards.

Is Google male or female?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

My dad told me I should fuck both of you.

Dad and Son in the living room when dad feet's get cold. "Get my slippers from upstairs". While upstairs he sees two of his sisters friends so he goes up to both of them, "My Dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you". "you're lying", OK I will prove it "Dad, did you say both of them?"

"what's the point of fucking one".

Smoking high-strength cannabis may damage nerve fibres in brain


Smoking high-strength cannabis may damage nerve fibres in brain
Study suggests high levels of skunk use may affect the brain’s white matter, making communication between the right and left hemispheres less efficient.

November 27, 2015 at 11:39PM
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I cried when my dad chopped up onions

onions was a good dog :c

Some acids walked into the enemy base...

Threat Neutralized.

Drake Responded To Adele And Apparently Their Love Is Mutual

♫ Hello from the 6 side. ♫

Last week when Adele was doing press in Canada, she told etalk that she wanted to do an official remix of "Hotline Bling."

Last week when Adele was doing press in Canada, she told etalk that she wanted to do an official remix of "Hotline Bling."

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

And that she loves Drake as much as the rest of us.

And that she loves Drake as much as the rest of us.

Ben Stansall / Getty Images

Welp, Drake heard about Adele's comments. And when he was at the Toronto Raptors' Drake Night on Wednesday, the rapper responded:

Welp, Drake heard about Adele's comments. And when he was at the Toronto Raptors' Drake Night on Wednesday, the rapper responded:

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"I’d literally go to Adele’s house right now and do laundry for her," he continued.

"I’d literally go to Adele’s house right now and do laundry for her," he continued.

Via giphy.com


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