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Chủ Nhật, 31 tháng 1, 2016

A man with no arms is homeless and looking for a job.

He goes to the pastor in his local church one morning and says: "Pastor, I am in desperate need of work. Is there any kind of job you can give me, despite my obvious disability?" The pastor, with a cheeky grin, points to the churches bell tower and says: "You see that bell up in the tower? If you can ring that for me every day precisely at noon, I will pay you $20 a day. Can you do that for me?" The no armed man hesitates, but the offer of $20 a day sounds too promising, so he agrees.

Later that day, he makes his way up to the bell tower but alas, cannot pull the rope for obvious reasons. However, he does not give up. Being a quick thinker, the man takes a stance in front of the bell, and begins repeatedly bashing his face into the bell. Success! the bell rings on the strike of noon, and a slightly dizzy no armed man returns downstairs, where a very confused pastor lives up to his promise and grants him $20.

This process continues for several weeks. Every day at noon, the man would head to the bell tower and bash his face into the solid metal for it to chime, and then the pastor would pay him. Over time, however, this method began damaging the mans head, both inside and out. Bruises were always constant, and the pastor began noticing the man would slur his speech, look deranged and have trouble walking in a straight line. But there were no complaints, and the man, though a bit slower by the day, was still getting paid happily, so it continued.

On one fateful day, however, the man once again staggers up the stairs to reach the bell tower as noon approached. He took his normal stance, ready to smash his head once again into the giant chiming machine. However, on this fateful day, he succumbs to the damage, and as he charges at the bell, he staggers so much that he completely misses the target. His momentum takes him right over the shallow wall of the tower and he plummets to the ground. He is killed instantly.

A crowd of people begin to gather around the no armed man's body, including a police officer. A woman looks at the body, horrified, and asks "Oh my god, does anybody know who this man is?" The police officer looks at the dead man and replies "I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."

NSFW At the restaurant, everyone kept calling me a pedophile just because I'm 52 and my wife is 22......

It completely ruined our ten year anniversary dinner.

Compliment somebody on their moustache

and all of a sudden she is not your friend anymore.

How Well Do You Know The Words To Kanye West's “Gold Digger”?

Cause if we quiz yo’ ass you’ll least get half.

A lot of us spent our 2005 summer bumping Kanye West's "Gold Digger". But just how well do you remember this catchy classic? Let’s find out.

A lot of us spent our 2005 summer bumping Kanye West's "Gold Digger". But just how well do you remember this catchy classic? Let’s find out.

Def Jam / Via youtube.com

Enjoy!

youtube.com


My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

Why do elephants drink so much?

To forget

NSFW My wife demanded that I get a penis enlarger, so I did. ....

....she's 27 and her name is Heather.

My ex wife is like the Mona Lisa

I mean, she's not that pretty or anything, but I would be damn near ecstatic if I came home and found her hanging in the living room

I came across a broken escalator the other day

All I could do was stair.

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.

Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

New hooker in town.

Bill and his wife Julie were going through financial crisis. Bill suggested Julie to become a hooker.

Julie was not sure how to start that, so Bill said, "Stand near that pillar and pick up a guy. Tell him your rate is $200. If you got any question, I'll be parked around the corner".

Within couple of minutes a black guy pulls up and asked, "How much?"
"$200"
"Shigh, I have only $120"
"Hold on"... wife runs back to Bill.
"What can he get in $120".
"A handjob" Bill said.

Wife runs back and tells the guys he will get a handjob in $120. Black guy agrees. She gets in the car, he unzips his pants and here is the biggest schlong ever.

She stares it for a minute and says, "Hold on, I will be right back".

She runs back to her husband and says, "Bill can you please lend him $80"

In Iran, everyone's scared of spiders..

But in Iraq, no phobia.

My wife's been missing for a week and the police said to prepare for the worst.....

...so I went to Goodwill and got all her clothes back.

Some things you just can't explain.

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer. "Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. "So what happened then?" the man asked. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left." "And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

The man laughed and said, "Again?" The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So, what did you do then?" the man asked.

"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right." "And then?" "Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

"Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer said. "So, what did you do?" the man asked.

"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ... Some things you just can't explain."

I don't get why people are allowed to say "Damn straight"

But I get in trouble when i say "Damn gays".

Grab Your Earphones And Listen To This Gorgeous Instrumental Cover Of Adele's "Hello"

With a little Mozart mixed in, for old time’s sake!

Everyone knows that Adele's "Hello" is the song that has you feeling ALL the feels.

Everyone knows that Adele's "Hello" is the song that has you feeling ALL the feels.

Columbia

Well get your tissue box ready, because classical performance group The Piano Guys have taken "Hello" and given it an 18th-century twist, mashing it up with Mozart's "Lacrimosa" to create one stunning song:

youtube.com

"Chello," as the group titled the mashup, will have you feeling all the feels...

"Chello," as the group titled the mashup, will have you feeling all the feels...

youtube.com


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What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply?

Pb & J.

A physicist notices a man about to jump of a really tall building, he yells:

DONT JUMP YOU HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL

My old Mum used to say, "Always give your food a good rinse before you eat it."

Lovely woman, terrible sandwiches.

I got arrested for killing a black man

They charged me with impersonating a police officer.

Thứ Bảy, 30 tháng 1, 2016

Husband has 6 months to live

Asks his wife, "Will you marry again?"

She says she supposes so, eventually.

"Will he sleep in our bed"?

She says of course he will.

"Will you let him use my golf clubs?"

"No, he couldn't use them. He's left handed."

Isn't it great to live in 21st century ?

Where deleting history has become more important than making one.

A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet...

But I can only walk so fast.

My girlfriend complained that there should be more women in technology

So I put her in my new smart fridge

I want a job as a mirror cleaner...

It's something I can see myself doing.

What do fat chicks and bricks have in common?

Eventually they both get laid, by a Mexican.

9 out of 10 Americans are stupid...

I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.

My sense of humor is so dark...

... one of these days it's going to get shot by the police.

Unlikely Tiger And Goat Friends Who Captivated Imaginations Separated After Fight

*sad face*

In Russia, a Siberian tiger named Amur and a goat called Timur formed an unlikely bond last November.

In Russia, a Siberian tiger named Amur and a goat called Timur formed an unlikely bond last November.

Igor Selivanov / AP

The pair began a friendship when Timur was placed in the tiger's habitat as part of its twice weekly live animal feedings.

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To the surprise of onlookers the goat refused to be eaten and eventually kicked Amur out of his bedding area.

Facebook: permalink.php

The pair formed a remarkable bond and were often seen following each other around the enclosure and even napping together.

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They became the best of friends.

Facebook: permalink.php

But alas, the pair have now had a falling out and Timur has been removed from Amur's enclosure.

Dmitry Mezentsev, director of Primorsky Safari Park where the two live, confirmed in a statement the animals had got into a fight on Jan. 26.

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How does Stephen Hawking have sex?

Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace...

I really wish some of the fantasies in 50 shades of grey were real...

like how she got a job right out of college.

Do You Remember These Obscure “American Idol” Contestants?

This quiz is for Idol super-fans only.


What do men ànd hardwood flooring have in common?

Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

36 Songs You'll Remember If You Graduated College In 2011

Seems like it was only yesterday…

It's been almost 10 years since the class of 2011 entered college. The iPhone debuted, the seventh and final Harry Potter novel came out, and you were probably just getting hooked on Breaking Bad.

AFP / Getty Images / Scholastic / AMC

"Realize" — Colbie Caillat

"Realize" — Colbie Caillat

Nostalgia-inducing lyric: If you just realize what I just realized / Then we'd be perfect for each other and we'll never find another

Universal Republic / Via youtube.com

"Better In Time" — Leona Lewis

"Better In Time" — Leona Lewis

Nostalgia-inducing lyric: And even though I really love you / I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to / It'll all get better in time

Syco / Via youtube.com

"The Way I Are" — Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson, D.O.E., Sebastian

"The Way I Are" — Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson, D.O.E., Sebastian

Nostalgia-inducing lyrics: Baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta floss for me / If we go and touch, you can still touch my love it's free / We can work without the perks, just you and me / Thug it out till we get it right

Mosley / Via youtube.com


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I took my dad to the mall to grab some lunch

I took my dad to the mall to grab some lunch, and at the next table there was a teenager with spiked hair in all different colors, red, orange, green, blue, etc. The teenager caught my dad staring a few times and said "What's the matter old man, haven't done anything wild in your life?" with a smug smirk on his face. I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke when my dad responded. "Sure I have" he said, sounding bored, "I once got drunk off my ass and fucked a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son"

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

Here's What Rihanna Fans Really Think Of "Anti"

Christopher Polk / Getty Image

The wait is over! Rihanna's eighth album, Anti, is finally here and it barely resembles the glossy, hook-laden pop she's released in the past. Was it worth the wait? Is it any good? We convened a panel of Rihanna stans to listen to the album and find out.

1. "Consideration (ft. SZA)"

Kevin Smith: I like the beat. The song is very chill… It doesn't necessarily strike me as a intro type song but I mean it's not bad. Rihanna's voice lessons have been paying off.

Michael Hinson: As soon as Rihanna starts singing I lost it, it's the perfect vibe for a intro. After about a minute or so it just becomes a really good SZA song, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but I don't hear a lot of Rihanna in it.

Abid Anwar: Whenever I hear SZA, I always think about how she got called out on Twitter over and over for her bad tweets about Beyonce and Rihanna. Anyway, this song is a good reminder to always delete your old tweets. The beat is pretty solid.

Taylor Miller: I think this is one of my favorites on the album. It's catchy and the beat really stands out compared to the rest of the album. Rih's voice blends perfectly with SZA and I could basically listen to this on repeat all day (which I have pretty much been doing for the last hour).

Kelley Dunlap: It's less a song than a thesis statement, but the SZA is a welcome presence.

Christopher Polk / Getty Images

2. "James Joint"

KS: Eh. It's a little slow for my liking but like, whatever. I guess this is an interlude. I wonder what happened to the full song? This is kinda meh, but again it's just an interlude.

MH: Definitely needs to be labeled as an interlude. Super smooth but I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to listen to this song until it's warm outside again.

AA: This song would be nice to put on during a rainy day. She starts the song saying “I’d rather be smoking weed whenever we breathe” which is actually very romantic — not that I’ve ever done drugs...

TM: It's a great song to be stoned to, but I think I would enjoy it a lot more if it was a full song.

KD: This song starts to fade out before it even hits the one-minute mark! It feels like the writers worked until they were too stoned to continue. The Rih apologist in me thinks it's just a sequencing issue. Like, I could see being less irritated by the 1:12 runtime and overall haphazardness if the song arrived as an interlude later on. Maybe.

Mike Coppola / Getty Images

3. "Kiss It Better"

KS: This one's kinda cute. I'm trying really hard not to be negative, but I'm really disappointed. I don't know what I wanted from Rih, but I feel like this album isn't it. If I had a car I guess I would like this one more. It seems like a "car song."

AA: This sounds like a song that would live on a The-Dream album and I mean that as a compliment. I like the electric guitar and when Rihanna says, “man, fuck your pride,” I really felt like listening to that advice. I also think this song lyrically sums up the rest of the album better than any other song. Rihanna is just being very honest about what she wants.

MH: All I can think of after this one is how dope it will sound live and also how Purple Rain is the greatest movie of all time.

TM: This is another one of my favorites. Between the electric guitar and the silky vocals. THIS is the Rih I love. Reminds me a lot of "Dance for You" by Beyoncé, but on steroids.

KD: Rih does Prince. I can dig it. However, I followed all the pre-release drama surrounding this song and bought into the idea that it would be a monster. "Kiss It Better" is good — maybe even great! — but it isn't the obvious smash I was hoping for.

Christopher Polk / Getty Images

4. "Work (ft. Drake)"

KS: This is my favorite song. I really like the beat, I like the chorus, I like everything about it. It's pretty obvious why this was the "first" single. Drake's verse is wack, but I'm still OK with that. I guess I just really appreciate the clubby turn up songs, because who doesn't want to turn up all the time?!

TM: For me, "Work" is basically "What's My Name" (Pt. II), which is the highest of all compliments because I was obsessed with that song. Definitely gets my pussy popping while I'm sitting at my desk.

AA: This song makes me wish I could whine. It also makes me very excited for the summer. I guess Drake is on this song too.

MH: Early jam of the year contender. Starting a petition to replace the Aubrey verse for another minute of Rihanna saying "work" over and over.

KD: I understand the impulse to get Drake on the "first" single, but they should've scrapped the idea after he turned in that weak-ass verse. Just let Rihanna slur her way through the song uninterrupted!

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

5. "Desperado"'

KS: I feel like this should have been the first track. I really like this one. I like the sound, I like the flow. This one's good.

AA: This song would make for a great opening for a western and I think Rihanna should star in her own western that's not directed by Quentin Tarantino.

MH: First song so far that it isn't doing a whole lot for me, it just kind of exists. One of the two songs on here where you can really hear Travis Scott behind the boards, which explains a lot.

TM: This song gave me a lot of Rated R vibes. I could totally see it being used in an ABC promo for a new drama series. That being said, I do like it a lot.

KD: I've spent every year since Britney released "Toxic" wondering why more pop stars don't play around with that weird spaghetti western sound, so this works for me, even if I'm pissed I can't turn up to it.

Christopher Polk / Getty Image

6. "Woo"

KS: My second favorite track, because it's a turn-up song. I like how Travis Scott is in the background. This must have been one of the tracks that he reworked. It's pretty clear to hear his influence on this song.

AA: I like the production on this a lot and there should be a remake with Future on it at some point.

TM: I cannot wait to hear this song in the club, because it is a BANGER. I wish we had more tracks like this to be honest. I love it.

MH: "Woo" makes me feel like an action movie star that just jumped the grand canyon in a cadillac. I don't mind Travis on ad-lib duty either.

KD: I'm going to have to get back to y'all about this one. I'm not feeling it right now, but I think that would change after a few drinks.

Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

7. "Needed Me"

KS: Did a guy need her or do we all need her? Like, in the music industry or in a relationship… is this a double entendre? The beat is on point with this one, the flow is here. I'm here for this one. I just really am annoyed by how many songs are "chill" on this album! Where are the turn ups?! I feel like this is an album to like have sex to, not to, like, turn up and party to.

AA: MUSTARD ON THE BEAT! This is one of my favorite songs on the album and I think it's going to make for some great remixes that will end up getting like 5,613 plays on a random Soundcloud account somewhere. I'm here for it.

TM: This song is super trippy and I think it deserves an equally trippy music video. Giving me a lot of Tinashe vibes. Speaking of Tinashe, they need to do a collab ASAP.

MH: This was feeling super ehhh until she says "Didn't I tell you that I was a savage? Fuck your white horse and a carriage," which is flat-out legendary. You can kind of tell where the rest of the album is going at this point though.

KD: It's fine, I guess. Serviceable is the word that comes to mind. But, as a matter of principle, Rihanna shouldn't be singing songs that sound like Tinashe's sloppy seconds. That's just not right.

Christopher Polk / Getty Images

8. "Yeah, I Said It"

KS: "I WANT YOU TO HOMICIDE IT." COME THROUGH, RIH! OK, so, I guess the second half of the album is the "sexy" part of it. Why is this song only two minutes, though? Why are there so many two-minute songs?!

TM: This song is so sensual it hurts. This song is purely made to have sex to. Light some candles, sit back, and enjoy.

AA: I hope a lot of people have sex to this song, but for a longer period of time than this two-minute song lasts.

MH: Another "just OK" joint. Kind of feels it's just here to meet the "one slow dance song per album" quota.

KD: I really did not like the song on first listen. It's growing on me, though. I definitely agree that the length is a problem — again. Why release a Song You Should Fuck To™, if it's only going to be two minutes and 13 seconds long? That's barely enough time to get undressed!

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

9. "Same Ol' Mistakes"

KS: I really like this one, the beat is everything. This might be my second favorite song. I really like the length. I like the like vibe and feeling of the song. It reminds me of a like, old-school song of some sort.

TM: These breathy vocals have me feeling SOMETHING. This is the perfect blend of synthesizers/vocals I have heard in such a long time and this song will put a smile on your face.

AA: I like Rihanna. I like Tame Impala. It's almost the same as the original, but I guess I like her take on it? I think the video should just be them (Rihanna and Tame Impala) driving through streets filled with neon lights.

MH: Shout-out to Rihanna for putting a straight-up cover on an event album like this. Love the original and I dig her version, but it's literally the same song, she could've switched it up way more and put her own spin on it.

KD: I only sort of like this in theory, which is more than I like it in practice.

Christopher Polk / Getty Images

10. "Never Ending"

KS: Hmm… This one is confusing to me. I feel like I'm on a paddleboat in New Hampshire, living a teenage dream or something. This doesn't stand a chance of being a single.

TM: I think this is the only song that doesn't really fit the vibe of the album. I actually think it is one of the more "radio-friendly" tracks; It just feels out of place. I don't mind it though, just kind of blah.

AA: One of my biggest fears is going to a party and having someone pull out an acoustic guitar, and this song has that "will be covered on acoustic guitars on YouTube" vibe. That being said I can get down with indie-music artist Rihanna. I mean if Jack Johnson can keep releasing albums...

MH: Acoustic Rihanna is dope, but I listen to this and just wish that it was "FourFiveSeconds" instead.

KD: Looks like I'm alone on this one: I love this. She's been flirting with adult contemporary for a while — see: "Stay" and "FourFiveSeconds" — and it's fun to hear her go full Dido. So, uh, two thumbs up for the strummy guitar ballad from the basic white chick ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images

11. "Love On The Brain"

KS: I like this one, it's chill. I feel like I've described a lot of these songs as chill. I feel like Sia wrote this. I'm here for it.

TM: Loving the doo-wop vibe. Rih giving us her best Amy Winehouse tribute. I absolutely love this track.

AA: This song sounds like something that would have been playing in the background of a flashback scene of a dramatic conversation on the forgotten about CBS show Cold Case. I do like her slight voice change when she says "I'm tired of being played like a violin…"

MH: Another one that's going to absolutely kill in a stadium setting. Got some Beyoncé vibes from this one too, Rih sounds great.

KD: This definitely sounds like a reject from Beyoncé's Four, which is an interesting turn for Rih. Never thought she'd play in that old-school R&B playground. It's cute, though!

Christopher Polk / Getty Images

12. "Higher"

KS: Another short song. Kinda sounds like elevator music. OMG — that high note. *Cringe.* I love her, but let's be real: she doesn't have the vocal control of say Beyoncé, Whitney Houston, Aretha Franklin, or, hell, even a Christina Aguilera. So when she tries to like "belt" out tracks like this it makes me snicker. Keep tryin' boo and keep taking those singing lessons. *Sips tea.*

AA: I'm religious now. I believe in a higher power. I really wish this song was a little longer because this review is longer than the song, but sometimes beauty has to be consumed in small doses.

MH: This song was created so it could be shouted out of Uber windows at two in the morning and honestly that's the best kind of song there is.

TM: This song makes me so upset because I love it so much but it's TOO SHORT. WHY YOU DOING THIS TO US RIH. Just makes us beg for more. Her vocals on this are out of control. Hoping this is another "Cake" and she releases a longer version in the future.

KD: I'm on Team "Higher." I actually like the way that she pushes her voice into uncomfortable territory, it's very Sia. And I'm, surprisingly, not bothered by the fact that it's only two minutes. It's super short, but only like other songs on this album it feels complete.

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

13. "Close To You"

KS: Weak outro. It's very somber. I feel like this entire album is pretty somber. The key she's singing in isn't really one that I'd choose, but this isn't my album so go for it. It does sound like a bootleg "Stay" though.

TM: This is a disappointing closer. It's too slow and sounds like too much like "Stay." It's not a bad song, just nothing. Maybe I need a few more listens, but it's easily forgettable and that's coming from someone who LOVES a good Rih ballad.

AA: "Close To You" doesn't really do anything for me and the album should have ended on "Higher."

MH: I'm choosing to pretend that this is a bonus track.

KD: What a nothing closer. It's like "Stay," but boring.

Christopher Polk / Getty Images

So, now that we've listened to the whole thing, what do you think of Anti as a whole?

TM: For Rihanna, this is definitely her most cohesive album to date. I know that prior to listening to Anti I was definitely hoping for the more upbeat dance tracks that I am used to hearing from her, but I was surprised at how much I didn't miss them after listening to the album in its entirety. I know she was going for a more "timeless" vibe for this album and I think that was achieved.

KS: Anti to me is a flop. She was smart to push the date back and not try to compete with Adele because she would have gotten slayed. I was just expecting this to be an album of epic proportions. It's been, like, five years since she released an album, so for this to be what it is is really disappointing for me. I love Rihanna and everything she stands for, but I feel like she's sort of transitioned from being a musician to being a, like, "It Girl"/supermodel. I appreciate her style and everything she gives in terms of her attitude and not giving a fuck, but this album? Meh. I'm glad I didn't pay for it.

MH: In my opinion all Rihanna albums up to this point have just been a collection of singles and not really a body of work with a front to back creative vision. Anti is definitely the later and while not all of her experiments work out it's still super enjoyable in a way that I've never enjoyed her music before. I'm into it.

KD: I like it more than I thought I did on first listen. Or, more accurately: I've come to respect the overall direction, even if I don't particularly like it. I'm not going to front, I wanted bangers — big, hook-heavy bangers — and they are nowhere to be found on Anti. That was disappointing. But re-listening to the album has me reconsidering my No Music During Sex stance, so, you know, that's something.

AA: I think it’s the first Rihanna album that flows the best front to back. A lot of people said this album is all over the place, but I’m not sure I necessarily agree. It almost feel like she’s switching quickly between various thoughts that relate to a certain person, and I think that’s something a lot of people can relate too. It’s a moody album and while it always doesn’t work, I think she challenges her voice a lot throughout the album and I fuck with that. More than anything it will force people to look at Rihanna as an artist capable of more than just "bops and bangers” and I think that’s that good thing.

Was it worth the wait?

TM: Debatable. I think it probably could've been released last year; she teased this album for way too long and I kind of stopped getting excited after she released 3 singles and still didn't have an album. I do enjoy the album a lot though so I am not completely disappointed.

KS: Absolutely not.

MH: I'm not a member of the #Navy, and I'm sure if I was I'd be a little disappointed by the lack/complete absence of club bangers and EDM anthems, but as a casual fan I'd say it was worth it, sure.

KD: Oof. It's complicated? I think if she had released this a year ago or called it a "mixtape" I would've been more forgiving. I see a lot of people saying Anti is Rihanna turning her back on the pressures of an Event Album, but I don't know if I believe that. That feels like a rationalization. A way of excusing the sloppiness and the meandering. This is an album that's been three years in the making. One that Samsung reportedly paid eight figures to roll out. I don't think it's unreasonable to have expected something more.

AA: I joke around a lot about artists not releasing things, but more than anything that’s on us (media, music writers, fans). I think it was worth the wait, because almost any time an artist you like drops something, it’s worth it.

Are you still a stan?

TM: I think I will always stan Rihanna. She's doing her own thing and dropping tracks that people aren't expecting for her. We can't expect artists not to evolve and try new vibes. I would rather have that than someone pumping out the same generic sound, album after album, *cough* Katy Perry *cough.*

KS: Like I said previously, I'm always here for Rihanna, and I always will be. I appreciate her as a person, who she stands for, her attitude, her "I don't give a fuck"-ness. But as far as the music goes, I mean, hopefully, the next one will be better. You know, assuming we get another album. I still love you though, Rih. And we just all know that you can now transcend and move past music and just snatch our wigs at every opportunity. I love you.

KD: Always and forever.

AA: Yes, I’m still waiting for Rihanna to kill me.

What do you think? Did Anti leave you deflated or are you excited about Rihanna 2.0? Listen to the album on Tidal or iTunes and #Rihact in the comments.


I'm single by choice.

But it's not my choice.

Unlike Jesus, I did not have a virgin birth

It is, however, looking increasing likely that I'll have a virgin death

Amber Rose Had A Lot To Say About Kanye After Their Twitter War

“He still talks about me in songs, he still talks about me all day.”

On Wednesday, Kanye West took to Twitter to air his grievances with Wiz Khalifa.

On Wednesday, Kanye West took to Twitter to air his grievances with Wiz Khalifa.

Wiz originally said he wasn't down with Yeezy's new album title, Waves, and that's how the whole feud started.

Via Twitter: @kanyewest

At some points, things got heated because Kanye brought Wiz's son, Sebastian, and his ex-wife, Amber Rose, into the conversation.

At some points, things got heated because Kanye brought Wiz's son, Sebastian, and his ex-wife, Amber Rose, into the conversation.

Via Twitter: @kanyewest

Which is especially charged because Kanye and Amber dated for two years and have a long, complicated history. It's a whole thing.

Which is especially charged because Kanye and Amber dated for two years and have a long, complicated history. It's a whole thing.

Michael Loccisano / Getty Images

So not only did Amber Rose swiftly respond to Kanye with some fire tweets...

So not only did Amber Rose swiftly respond to Kanye with some fire tweets...

Via Twitter: @DaRealAmberRose


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The Mystery Of Michael Jackson And Sonic The Hedgehog

Getty / Hulton Archive / Sega

For years, rumors swirled around Sonic the Hedgehog fan messageboards that a certain sparkly-gloved performer had covertly written soundtrack music for the blue spiky-haired rapscallion.

This week, Todd Van Lulling of The Huffington Post finally confirmed the conspiracy theory that seemed like a moonshot of rapid Sonic fans: yes, Michael Jackson worked on music for the game Sonic 3.

The first person to suspect the King of Pop was behind the Sonic 3 soundtrack was Ben Mallinson, who happened to be both a superfan of Sonic and Michael Jackson. He noticed the chord progressions and song structure from certain songs sounded strangely familiar. He told his theory to the Sonic fan community, and the conspiracy raged on for years.

In 2009, one of Jackson's musical co-writers told a French magazine that yes, Jackson was involved in the Sonic music, but his name just never made it into the credits. However, Sega denied this was true and the question was never settled.

Until Van Lulling did some deeper digging. He found both former musical collaborators of Jackson's as well as Sega employees who pieced together the story.

Jackson was a huge fan of Sonic, and Sega had worked with him to make a Moonwalker game. Both parties were excited about a collaboration on a third Sonic game, poised to make the speedy blue scamp a true rival of Nintendo's Italian plumbers.

However, Jackson's name does not appear on the final game credits (his collaborators' names do). Sega claims this was because between the time Jackson worked on the music and the game was ready to come out, allegations of child molestation had hit the press, and Sega didn't want to associate their children's game with him.

Jackson's team claimed that once Jackson heard the final version of the songs in their tinny glitchy 16-bit sound, he was horrified they were such low quality and didn't want his name attached to that music.

It's unclear exactly why his name never appeared on the credits, but at least this mystery has been laid to rest.

Listen to BuzzFeed's Internet Explorer's interview with MJ/Sonic detective Todd Van Lulling:

w.soundcloud.com





Taylor Swift Is Living Her Best Life Post-Tour

It’s puurrrrrrty sweet.

Between some major music video releases, several No. 1 hits, and a world tour, you could say Taylor Swift had a busy 2015.

Between some major music video releases, several No. 1 hits, and a world tour, you could say Taylor Swift had a busy 2015.

Christopher Polk / Getty

The 1989 World Tour alone had her on the road from May to December, performing a total of 85 shows.

The 1989 World Tour alone had her on the road from May to December, performing a total of 85 shows.

instagram.com

So what does one do after seven months of traveling the world? Spend quality time with their cats of course.

So what does one do after seven months of traveling the world? Spend quality time with their cats of course.

Instagram: @taylorswift


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Public Service Announcement: Zayn Is Now On Snapchat

I REPEAT, ZAYN IS ON SNAPCHAT.

RCA Records / onscreenkisses.tumblr.com

RCA Records / onscreenkisses.tumblr.com

RCA Records / onscreenkisses.tumblr.com


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Kaley Cuoco Performed "I'm A Slave 4 U" With A Damn Snake

More like Slayley Cuoco.

Last night's Lip Sync Battle was an emotional rollercoaster.

youtube.com

Josh Gad kicked things off with a stirring rendition of "I Touch Myself," dressed as Donald Trump...

Josh Gad kicked things off with a stirring rendition of "I Touch Myself," dressed as Donald Trump...

Spike

...and made out passionately with Johnny Galecki.

...and made out passionately with Johnny Galecki.

Spike

LL just could not deal...

LL just could not deal...

Spike


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Drake Adorably Celebrated His Mom's Birthday With Her Last Night

Happy Birthday, Sandi!

If you know anything about Drake, you know that he loves his mom, Sandi Graham.

If you know anything about Drake, you know that he loves his mom, Sandi Graham.

Via instagram.com

He loves her a lot.

He loves her a lot.

Via instagram.com

You can't really blame him. The lady is clearly full of wisdom.

You can't really blame him. The lady is clearly full of wisdom.

Via Twitter: @Drake

And shows her son unconditional love and support.

And shows her son unconditional love and support.

Via instagram.com


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Beyoncé Plays A Bollywood Star In Coldplay's New Video

OMFG.

Coldplay just released their new music video starring actual Bollywood star Sonam Kapoor.

Coldplay just released their new music video starring actual Bollywood star Sonam Kapoor.

Via youtube.com

But Beyoncé, a collaborator on the track, plays one in the video. Here's a poster for a Beyoncé-starring fictional Bollywood movie.

But Beyoncé, a collaborator on the track, plays one in the video. Here's a poster for a Beyoncé-starring fictional Bollywood movie.

Via youtube.com

The video features a Beyoncé movie being watched in a movie hall.

The video features a Beyoncé movie being watched in a movie hall.

Via youtube.com

And here are a few more instances in the video of Bollywood Beyoncé just bein' Bollywood Beyoncé.

And here are a few more instances in the video of Bollywood Beyoncé just bein' Bollywood Beyoncé.

Via youtube.com


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Coldplay Dropped Their New Video And Here Are Sonam Kapoor's Appearances

ALSO, BEYONCÉ PLAYS A BOLLYWOOD STAR.

GUYS. Coldplay just dropped the video that they were spotted filming in India in 2015. "Hymn for the Weekend" is a collaboration with Beyoncé.

youtube.com

The video mostly comprises Chris Martin taking cabs around Bombay...

The video mostly comprises Chris Martin taking cabs around Bombay...

(Shout-out to Taxi Fabric, whose designs are featured in this cab! ^)

Coldplay

...and Beyoncé as a Bollywood superstar.

...and Beyoncé as a Bollywood superstar.


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Zayn Malik Has Dropped His New Music Video And People Aren't Even Dealing

“OK Zayn just kill my entire existence.”

Remember to breathe in and out: Zayn Malik has just dropped his brand new video for "Pillow talk".

youtube.com

And, um, it's pretty damn fantastic.

And, um, it's pretty damn fantastic.

Sony / youtube.com

And pretty damn sexy.

And pretty damn sexy.

Sony / youtube.com

And yes, that is Gigi Hadid.

And yes, that is Gigi Hadid.

Sony / youtube.com


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