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Thứ Năm, 31 tháng 12, 2015

23 Of The Most Romantic Love Songs From 2015

All of the love songs we loved this year.

Ellie Goulding, "Love Me Like You Do"

Ellie Goulding, "Love Me Like You Do"

Say what you will about the Fifty Shades of Grey movie — the soundtrack is great. Like, really, truly, Beyoncé-is-on-this-thing great! But, while most of the film’s music paints in ~shades of lust~, Ellie Goulding’s contribution, “Love Me Like You Do,” is pure bliss. Built like a cathedral of synths, the song is toweringly romantic and unapologetically sweet.

Swoonworthy lyric: "You're the light, you're the night / You're the color of my blood / You're the cure, you're the pain / You're the only thing I wanna touch"

Polydor Ltd

Selena Gomez, "Good for You"

Selena Gomez, "Good for You"

Selena Gomez transitioned into adult pop stardom this year with a whisper, not a shout. Literally. Her first post-Disney single — the hushed, R&B-inspired "Good for You" — is sung in a sexy, vowel-breaking whisper. The result is like pillow talk, only catchier.

Swoonworthy lyric: "Let me show you how proud I am to be yours / Leave this dress a mess on the floor / And still look good for you, good for you"

SelenaGomezVEVO

Fetty Wap, "My Way (feat. Monty)"

Fetty Wap, "My Way (feat. Monty)"

On "My Way" time slows to a syrupy wooze as the rapper tries to impress the object of his affection with come-on after come-on. It's equal parts charming and desperate. It's charmingly desperate. There’s something about Fetty Wap’s Auto-Tuned warbling that sounds like the way infatuation feels — uncontrollable and ecstatic.

Swoonworthy lyric: "I spotted you, you had that glow / Watch me pull out all this dough / Take you where you want to go"

harlem fetty

Carly Rae Jepsen, "Run Away With Me"

Carly Rae Jepsen, "Run Away With Me"

Nobody crushes like Carly Rae Jepsen crushes. Fluttery feelings of romantic possibility take on cosmic shadings and become something grander in her hands. Three years ago, she made giving your phone number to a stranger sound fated on her bubblegum masterpiece, “Call Me Maybe,” and, this year, she’s imbued her best new song, “Run Away With Me,” a sax-inflected, end-of-the-night anthem, with a real sense of destiny.

Swoonworthy lyric: "Oh baby, take me to the feeling / I'll be your sinner, in secret / When the lights go out / Run away with me"

Matthew Welch / Interscope


View Entire List ›


The Most Delicious Celebrity Twitter Beefs Of 2015

There was some Grade A beef this year.

Meek Mill Vs. Drake

Meek Mill Vs. Drake

When: July 2015
What Happened: So Meek accused Drake of not writing his own raps, and instead of responding via Twitter, Drake dropped TWO diss tracks: "Changed Up" and the Grammy nominated "Back to Back."

Alberto E. Rodriguez / Kevin Winter / Anopdesignstock / Getty Images

Nicki Minaj Vs. Taylor Swift

Nicki Minaj Vs. Taylor Swift

When: July 2015
What Happened: Nicki expressed in a series of tweets how she felt snubbed by the VMAs and how if she were "a different kind of artist" she would have gotten the nomination. One of the tweets seemed to call out Taylor Swift, who took the tweet personally and responded.

Mark Ralston / Larry Busacca / Anopdesignstock / Getty Images

Katy Perry Vs. Taylor Swift

Katy Perry Vs. Taylor Swift

When: July 2015
What Happened: Just when it seemed the Nicki Vs. Taylor feud was a thing of the past, Katy Perry jumped in with a subtweet of her own — which Nicki favorited.

Alberto E. Rodriguez / Larry Busacca / Anopdesignstock / Getty Images

Louis Tomlinson Vs. Zayn Malik

Louis Tomlinson Vs. Zayn Malik

When: May 2015
What Happened: After Louis subtweeted a pic of Zayn and his producer Naughty Boy, Naughty Boy took shots at Louis's vocals. Louis then dissed him back, UNTIL FINALLY Zayn stepped in, telling Louis he had no life.

Stuart C. Wilson / Kevin Winter / Anopdesignstock / Getty Images


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A miracle at the funeral

During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.

As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

"Do you know how awkward you are?"

"Good, you?"

Three guys go to a ski lodge

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

A large hole was found in the middle of the city.

Officials are looking into it.

An Australian bin man knocks at the door of a Chinese guy

And asks 'where's ya bin mate' The guy answers 'I bin watching TV!' The Ozzie asks 'na mate where's ya wheelie bin' The guy hangs his head and says 'I wheelie been wanking'

Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

Do you think Charlie Sheen admitted to being HIV positive on national television...

because it was easier than making phone calls?

why do you never see hippos hiding in trees?

cause they're really fuckin' good at it

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

What did Mr. T say when he saw a fat woman sitting at the bar?

"I pity the stool."

I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area

Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app.

What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk drives right through a stop sign, a stoner waits for it to turn green.

What do women's panties and nail polish have in common?

What do women's panties and nail polish have in common?

They both come off with alcohol.

Edit: I am embarrassed but will let this post be at least for its educational value.

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a Rap artist?

art

Bill Cosby was charged with sexual assault

I guess the proof was in the pudding

A star walks into a black hole...

... but it doesn't seem phazed. The black hole turns to the star and says, "Sir, I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation."

Why the 2010s Are Reminiscent of the 1920s


Why the 2010s Are Reminiscent of the 1920s
America is again caught between nationalists longing for the glories of an imagined past, and activists invoking ideals the nation has never yet attained.

December 31, 2015 at 01:45AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1IDoXes

Instructions for falling down the stairs:

Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12.

The 30 Most Important Cats Of 2015

This has been a tumultuous and difficult year for cats, but it has not been a year without cat triumph, cat perseverance, and – dare I say – cat redemption. These were the most important cats of 2015.

Cat Who Made This Face When Someone Meowed Back at Him

As Cat Nietzsche famously said: "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you meow long into an abyss the abyss also meows at you."

Cat Who Made This Face When Someone Meowed Back at Him

imgur.com

Cat Who Hung Around A High School So Much That They Made Her A Student

As countless voyagers on this quest we call existence will know, the School of Life offers manifold lessons for free. The Leland High School, however, will only teach you if you have an official Leland High School ID card.

Cat Who Hung Around A High School So Much That They Made Her A Student

Facebook: bubbatheschoolcat

Facebook: bubbatheschoolcat

"Whosoever keepeth their kittens in a row hath but a row of kittens. But he who keeps his kittens in a stack hath true wisdom, as well as extra storage space."
– Old but largely unhelpful adage about kitten storage


View Entire List ›


Aretha Franklin Performing "A Natural Woman" For Carole King Will Leave You Speechless

The Queen of Soul still has it.

Last night, during the Kennedy Center Honors, Aretha Franklin graced the stage to perform her song "You Make Me Feel Like (A Natural Woman)" to honor Carole King, who co-wrote the song.

And there were a ton of celebrities and other notable public figures in the audience — President Barack Obama, Viola Davis, etc.

youtube.com / Via youtube.com

Aretha's performance was sublime and the audience's reaction was a beautiful sight to see.

Aretha's performance was sublime and the audience's reaction was a beautiful sight to see.

Killing it.

CBS / Via tumblr.refinery29.com

The president shed a tear.

The president shed a tear.

CBS / Via tumblr.refinery29.com

Viola Davis had a praise and worship moment.

Viola Davis had a praise and worship moment.

CBS / Via tumblr.refinery29.com


View Entire List ›


I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it.

It's true, I saw it with my own eyes!

18 Eye-Popping Science Instagrams You Should Follow In 2016

Double tap to show you LEARNED SOMETHING

The Philadelphia Zoo

The Philadelphia Zoo

Philadelphia Zoo / Via instagram.com

DARPA

DARPA

(That is: the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency)

DARPA / Via Instagram: @darpa

The Audubon Society

The Audubon Society

Birds of a feather... flock to this Instagram account...

(sorry)

The Audubon Society / Via instagram.com

NASA

NASA

NASA / Via instagram.com


View Entire List ›


19 Times Gizmo The Griffon Won Instagram In 2015

The sassiest griffon in the game.

When he mastered the side eye:

Instagram: @heygizmo

When he was the shadiest Santa in town:

Instagram: @heygizmo

When he jumped on the Star Wars bandwagon:

Instagram: @heygizmo

When he became a master of disguise:

instagram.com


View Entire List ›


This Raccoon Who Stole A Doughnut In Toronto Is Your Inspiration For 2016

“People outside were cheering when he finally got the doughnut.”

With 2016 approaching, we all need a little motivation to pursue our dreams. And here's your inspiration: a raccoon who, earlier this week in the Toronto area, descended from a ceiling tile to steal a doughnut.

With 2016 approaching, we all need a little motivation to pursue our dreams. And here's your inspiration: a raccoon who, earlier this week in the Toronto area, descended from a ceiling tile to steal a doughnut.

Peter Jensen / Via youtu.be

Peter Jensen just walked in to his usual coffee spot (he wouldn't reveal where, to protect the owners) when he saw another regular laughing at the ceiling above the doughnut case. Which was weird.

One of the ceiling tiles was askew and moving around, but he assumed the storm outside was the culprit.

Then he saw a little hand.

"I kind of freaked out a little bit," Jensen told BuzzFeed Canada.

Turns out it was a little trash panda, looking for a snack. And everyone in the joint was watching it unfold.

Turns out it was a little trash panda, looking for a snack. And everyone in the joint was watching it unfold.

For the next 20 minutes, Jensen along with other customers and a terrified waitress were on the edges of the seats as the raccoon shyly poked around. Meanwhile, the shop's owner was armed with a broom in one hand and a phone in the other, trying to convince animal control that he couldn't wait until the next day.

Peter Jensen

Finally, when some customers moved outside to smoke, the raccoon dropped in and made its move.

Finally, when some customers moved outside to smoke, the raccoon dropped in and made its move.

Peter Jensen


View Entire List ›


A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

21 Groundbreaking Animal Accomplishments Of 2015

Time to get the year-end trophies out.

When this cat came that much closer to the summer Olympics.

When this cat came that much closer to the summer Olympics.

gifaknet.tumblr.com

When this gorilla made the whole world desperately need a tall glass of water.

When this gorilla made the whole world desperately need a tall glass of water.

zmescience.com

When this raccoon earned the respect of a nation.

When this raccoon earned the respect of a nation.

unilad.co.uk

When this pigeon daringly updated the infinity scarf.

When this pigeon daringly updated the infinity scarf.

imgur.com


View Entire List ›


Blonde Bar

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and relaxes. Later, he yells to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar is now silent. The man next to the blind man says to him, "I don't think you should tell that joke. That bartender is blond, the person sitting next to you is a professional MMA fighter, I'm blonde and I am 6'5'' and weigh 200 pounds, and the bouncer outside is also blonde. Now, do you really want to tell that blonde joke anymore?" The blind man replies, "No, not if I have to explain it to 4 different people."

What has 3 balls and flies through space

E.T the Extra Testicle

I know this was awful I'm sorry

Then Vs. Now: Some Of The Biggest Stars From "American Idol"

Can you believe American Idol XV, aka American Idol: The Farewell Season, is set to air this January???

Kevin Winter

Ethan Miller


View Entire List ›


Kesha Has A New Band Called "Yeast Infection," So...

……

Although Kesha is forbidden from touring or creating new music as her lawsuit against Dr. Luke continues (#FreeKesha), that hasn't stopped the singer from forming Yeast Infection — her new band.

View Video ›

Facebook: video.php

Anyway, let's continue to free Kesha so we don't have to say we're a "Yeasty."

Anyway, let's continue to free Kesha so we don't have to say we're a "Yeasty."

Facebook: kesha


Who Said It: Kanye West Or Jenna Maroney?

They’re both the most talented people in their respective fields. (According to them anyway.)


Spotify Slapped With $150 Million Copyright Suit

Camper Van Beethoven

Spotify has taken some flak over the years for paying too little in royalty fees to the musicians and songwriters whose music it distributes. Now the streaming music service has been slapped with a lawsuit claiming it sometimes doesn't pay any royalties at all.

On Monday, Camper Van Beethoven and Cracker frontman David Lowery filed a class-action lawsuit against Spotify alleging that the company knowingly streamed songs to its more than 75 million users without obtaining the proper licenses to do so. First reported by Billboard, the suit seeks some $150 million damages for a proposed class expected to exceed 100 members.

At the crux of the suit is Lowery's claim that Spotify has created a "$17 to $25 million reserve" to pay royalties to artists whose work it has streamed without licensing, but it hasn't bothered to find those artists to make payment.

"Our argument is, we're not that hard to track down," Victor Krummenacher, a member of Camper Van Beethoven eligible to participate in the suit, told BuzzFeed News. "If [BuzzFeed] can track me down — and I'm not a principal in the suit — Spotify should be able to track us down to license our songs."

But it hasn't, Krummenacher said. Instead, Spotify is holding on to the money, waiting for artists to hit it up for payment. "They black box the money," he said.

This isn't the first time Spotify has run into trouble over copyright and royalty issues; The company is currently involved in settlement negotiations with the National Music Publishers Association. In the past, Spotify has argued that the byzantine music licensing structure, which requires payments for both recording and publishing rights, is too complex to manage for a catalog of over 30 million songs.

“We are committed to paying songwriters and publishers every penny,” Spotify said in a statement. “Unfortunately, especially in the United States, the data necessary to confirm the appropriate rights holders is often missing, wrong or incomplete.”


A rabbi and a Catholic priest are walking down the street...

...when the priest sees a boy across the way.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Let's go over there and screw that boy!"

The rabbi looks the boy over and says to the priest, "out of what?"

23 Of The Most Gut-Wrenching Breakup Songs From 2015

</3.

Adele, "Hello"

Adele, "Hello"

Be honest, this song has made you cry at least a thousand tiiiiiiiimes. All hail Adele, queen of heartbreak. Long may she reign.

Real AF lyric: "I must have called a thousand times / To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done / But when I call you never seem to be home"

Crying emojis (out of 10): ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

XL Recordings

Jazmine Sullivan, "Forever Don't Last"

Jazmine Sullivan, "Forever Don't Last"

Like "Hello," Jazmine Sullivan's "Forever Don't Last" is a tearjerker ballad sung by a powerhouse vocalist. Unlike "Hello," "Forever Don't Last" doesn't try to whisk the listener away to a world of heightened emotions and melodrama. It trusts that warm, intimate, human-scaled drama is enough.

Real AF lyric: "And I tried to believe that we could make it / But trying don't work, so I just have to face that forever / Doesn't last too long these days"

Crying emojis (out of 10): ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Shane McCauley / RCA Records

Demi Lovato, "Stone Cold"

Demi Lovato, "Stone Cold"

"Stone Cold" is, hands down, the saddest song ever written about fiddling with your phone to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Demi Lovato takes a common, not particularly high-stakes situation — faking a text to avoid interacting with your ex — and imbues it with real seriousness and desperation.

Real AF lyric: "Give me the truth, me and my heart / We'll make it through / If happy is her, I'm happy for you"

Crying emojis (out of 10): ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Hollywood Records / Island Records

Troye Sivan, "Lost Boy"

Troye Sivan, "Lost Boy"

Troye Sivan’s “Lost Boy” is a glittery, synth-pop anthem for kids who are "too young to give in to forever," but still feel bad about the way they ended things.

Real AF lyric: "Yeah we knew from the beginning / That this wasn't never ending / Shouldn't stay too long / 'Cause we're both too young / To give into forever"

Crying emojis (out of 10): ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

EMI Australia


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Thứ Tư, 30 tháng 12, 2015

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''

31 R&B Songs From 2015 You Need In Your Life

Janet and Janelle and Erykah, oh my.

Jeremih, "Oui"

Jeremih, "Oui"

Recommended if You Like: That perfect combination of elegant piano and madcap hi-hats. Oh, and Jeremih’s cooing falsetto.

Def Jam

Maliibu N Helene, "Starin’ at It"

Maliibu N Helene, "Starin’ at It"

Recommended if You Like: Irresistible, playful bops with sweet guitar samples.

youtube.com

Miguel, "Coffee"

Miguel, "Coffee"

Recommended if You Like: Sultry and lush pillow talk jams. Somehow Miguel can make songs sound both homemade and stadium-ready.

RCA Records

The-Dream, "That’s My Shit (ft. T.I.)"

The-Dream, "That’s My Shit (ft. T.I.)"

Recommended if You Like: Terius being Terius, crooning a simple croon over a beat that fucking snaps.

youtube.com


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What's E.T. short for?

So he can fit in his spaceship.

These Old Greyhounds Use An Elevator To Get Around And It Is The Sweetest Thing

Yaeger, Julius, Katie, and Manfred are so over using the stairs.

Yaeger, Julius, Katie, and Manfred are four greyhounds who live in St. Petersburg in Florida.

Yaeger, Julius, Katie, and Manfred are four greyhounds who live in St. Petersburg in Florida.

Yaeger (top left), Julius (top right), Katie (bottom left), and Manfred (bottom right).

Sheila Venturini

His friends, Katie and Manfred, find stairs baffling and upsetting. Only Julius understands the concept of stairs.

Katie

Sheila Venturini


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Dad joke heard at the beach

Recently, I was on vacation and at a beach and a father and his kids were playing catch in the water next to me.

This kid who had to be about six or seven yells out, "dad, I'm going to try some trash talk. Ready? Your skills are as rusty as a tin can! Get it dad? trash talk?"

I was dying. That kid is going to make a great dad.

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said thank you. I said don't mention it.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money,

decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a porch, it's a Ferrari."

Dad joke I came up with at work.

I work at a grocery store produce department. Today there was some misplaced cheese in a cooler. I saw it was sharp provolone. I took it to the deli lady and once she read it I said "be careful, it's sharp."

A father-to-be was waiting anxiously outside the labour ward where his wife was delivering a baby.

A nurse came up to the man and said, 'You have a girl, but there's another one on the way, so come back soon.'

'Twins,' he thought, a little shakily. He went away and came back an hour later to be told that the second baby had been born, but there was still another on the way.

'Good grief,' he thought.

He went to the pub down the street, and after a beer he phoned in and was told a fourth one was on the way. He started to drown his sorrows. A few stiff whiskies later he called the hospital again, but was so drunk he dialled the wrong number - and got the recorded cricket score. Crying in agony, he collapsed on the floor, a poor, devastated, shuddering and weeping mess.

As the barman struggled to pick him up, he heard the voice from the phone say, 'The score is 88 all out. And the last one was a duck.'

Why is PTSD like riding a bike?

You never forget

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god.

I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 6. My basement is still dark.

Welfare Check

"A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2014 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull-shittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . You started it . . . . “

Complaint factory: Angry Internet subscribers tee off against Comcast, Verizon, TWC


Complaint factory: Angry Internet subscribers tee off against Comcast, Verizon, TWC
The FCC gets more Internet service complaints about Comcast than it does for AT&T, Verizon, and Time Warner Cable (TWC) combined.

December 30, 2015 at 12:36AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1QUwxnU

Two Dogs Were Reunited With Their Owner After Being Pulled From The Debris Of A Tornado

The pair were stuck under the rubble of their home for two days.

Several tornadoes struck the Dallas area on Saturday night. Eight people died in Garland, while three were killed in Collin County.

Todd Yates / Reuters

Michael Delgado, from Rowlett, was one of those affected by the severe storms. His home was completed destroyed and his brother and grandmother had to be dug out of the building by rescuers Saturday night.

Todd Yates / Reuters


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14 Pairs Of Cat Socks To Kick Off The Mew Year In Style

Get your feet feline fine for 2016.

These cats hangin' out on your ankles:

These cats hangin' out on your ankles:

Find here!

Fascination Streets / Via storenvy.com

And this cat hangin' 10 on your 10 toes:

And this cat hangin' 10 on your 10 toes:

Find here!

Death by Noveltee / Via deathbynoveltee.com

These dreamy socks:

These dreamy socks:

Find here!

K. Bell / Via shopkbell.com

These dapurr ones:

These dapurr ones:

Find here!

Cute Dose / Via cutedose.co


View Entire List ›


Watch This Tiny Puppy Get A Massage For 30 Minutes

I ended up watching the entire thing, and it was wonderful.

BuzzFeed Video / Via youtube.com


John Cena And His Giant Hands Play With A Tiny Tortoise

Small turtle, big hands: this is the best thing you’ll see all day.

This morning on TODAY John Cena made a friend.

This morning on TODAY John Cena made a friend.

NBC / today.com

Lil Baby Tortoise was minding his own business.

Lil Baby Tortoise was minding his own business.

NBC / today.com

When suddenly he got picked up by John Cena's gigantic hands.

When suddenly he got picked up by John Cena's gigantic hands.

NBC / today.com

But these gigantic, mountainous hands proved to be a good place to be.

But these gigantic, mountainous hands proved to be a good place to be.

NBC / today.com


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