A Day In The Life Of A London Pigeon

They will shit on everything you love.

8:05am

Pigeons will sleep literally anywhere, but no one knows exactly where that is. This particular pigeon has woken up in a pungent, discarded shoe in Hammersmith.

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9:00am

For breakfast, they usually eat the soggy, flaccid remains of the chips on the pavement outside the Kebab Express. They are not picky: Anything that will slide straight through the digestive system in under 45 minutes is ideal.

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10:15am

Pigeons like shitting on stuff. Mid-morning, they fly vigilantly around central London, looking for the most unsoiled car. The posher, the better. Once they have found it, they do a poo on it.

Sian Butcher / BuzzFeed

11:10am

By late morning you've been at work for hours, and a pigeon has been sitting on the window ledge by your desk for 45 minutes. It's been staring at you and it's unnerving, and you call Gina from accounts to distract yourself. When you next glance at the window, the pigeon has left a cryptic message on the concrete using breadcrumbs.

Sian Butcher / BuzzFeed

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