Three Farmers are raising a pig for the fair, trying to put their brains together to beat everyone else out. One of them gets the idea to put a cork in its butt, "if it can't poop it will get huge!" So they do this, and when the fair comes it's the biggest pig the county has ever seen and they win. They bring the pig back to the farm and say "well we should probably take that cork out... But I sure as hell don't want to do it." The other two agree. They decide the best way to do this is to train a monkey to take the cork out for them. They spend a few days training the monkey, ensuring that it will go to plan. The day of, the first farmer stands 5 feet away, the second 15 feet away, and the last 25 feet away. They signal the monkey, and POOP just flies everywhere. The first farmer is completely covered, the second one up to his waist and the last up to his ankles. They rush forward to dig out the first farmer, and when they do he's laughing his head off. "Why are you laughing?? You almost died!" He wheezes back at them: "you should have seen the monkey trying to put the cork back in!!"
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