TAOISM: Shit happens
ZEN BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?
PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else
ATHEISTS: Shit happens for no apparent reason
HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens/ Shit happens/ Happens, happens/ Shit happens
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius says: "Shit happens"
HINDUISM: This shit happened before
CATHOLICISM: If shit happens you deserve it
AGNOSTICS: Facts happen
EVANGELISTS: Send me £8 million or shit will happen to you
BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit
ISLAM: If shit happens it is the will of Allah
JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to us?
CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS: Only good shit happens
JEHOVA'S WITNESSES: Let us in and we will tell you why shit happens
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