At the grocery store, I went to the checkout line with the cute cashier...

I started unloading my groceries onto the belt.

Package of Ramen noodles. Quart of milk. Half a dozen eggs. A couple of frozen dinners.

As she is scanning the items, she looks up and smiles, "so, you're single, huh?"

I look at my groceries and smile back. "Yeah, ha, what gave it away?"

"Because you're fucking ugly."