A pirate with an eye patch, a peg leg, and a hook walks into a bar.

The bartender notices him, and decides to ask about his injuries.

"So..." he starts off, "How'd you get that peg leg?"

"A shark bit off me leg."

"And the hook?"

"An enemy pirate cut off me hand."

The bartender gasps, fascinated by the pirate's stories.

"What about the eyepatch?"

"A seagull pooped in me eye."

"A seagull caused that? How?" The bartender questioned.

"Well, 'twas me first day with the hook..."