He gets up off his barstool and immediately faceplants.
“Oh, holy crap. I’m drunker than I thought!”
He pulls himself up with the barstool, lets go, and faceplants again.
“Shit!”
He crawls to the front door. He tries pulling himself up with the door knob and door frame. Once again, he lets go and drops straight to the ground.
“This is bullshit. I didn’t even have that much to drink!”
When he finally crawls to the sidewalk, he grabs hold of a light pole. Again, he pulls himself up, lets go, and immediately collapses.
“Shit, this is going to be a long crawl home!”
It’s a long, grueling trek, but he finally makes it home. By the time he reaches his front steps, the sky is a light pink and blue and birds are beginning to chirp.
As he reaches for the doorknob, it twists and the door swings wide open. He looks up to see his ever-so-livid wife glaring down at him.
“Honey, I can explain! I just had too much to drink, and...”
“Yeah, I know. The bar called. You left your wheelchair there again.”
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