I went to a pub and ordered a pint. As the landlord put my drink down, I asked him for the wifi code.

"Oh no," he said, "there's no wifi in here; people used to sit talking in pubs about their day, their families, work, politics, music, the lot - now people just stare at their phones and it breaks my heart to see; therefore, no wifi in this pub."

"You know what?" I replied, "You're right!" and I put my phone away.

"Thank you," the landlord said, "In this pub I want you to act as you would thirty or forty years ago."

So I lit a cigarette, gave him £1 for the pint and said, "No fucking problem mate."