The weather was oppressively hot when they saw this beautiful lake. They ran down to the lake, stripped off and swam in the wonderfully cool water.
Natives appeared on the shore and captured them and took them before the Chief.
"Lake is our most sacred site. You have violated sacred site and must die. When you dead, we skin you and use skin to make canoe. Place canoe on lake to remind visitors not to infringe on sacred site. You have one last wish before you die."
The Frenchman says, "I would like a knife."
He receives the knife and calls out, "I would rather kill myself than die at the hands of you savages!" He then quickly slashes his throat and dies.
The Englishman says, "I too would like a knife." When he receives the knife, he calls out, "Like my friend from across the channel, I too would rather kill myself than die at the hands of you savages! God save the Queen!" He also slashes his throat and dies.
"What about you?", they ask the Aussie.
" I want a fork".
They hand him the fork and he jabs it into himself all over his torso.
"There goes your fucking canoe!"
(Thanks to the late ex-Prime Minister of Australia, Bob Hawke)
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