Fuck you that just was a lucky guess.
Thứ Ba, 21 tháng 9, 2021
A man decided to tattoo his wife's name on his penis before going to their honeymoon
When erect it proudly reads Wendy on the side of his shaft, but when soft it only shows Wy.
While on his honeymoon in the Caribbean, he is using the bathroom and notices the guy in the urinal next to him also has a Wy on his penis. He then asks the guy if his wife is named Wendy.
The guy replies in a Jamaican accent, "No man, why do you ask?"
The husband then explains that he noticed the Wy on his penis and shared that he also has Wy and then when erect it says "Wendy".
The stranger then said, "When I have a hard on it says, Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day."
George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas
When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."
"Harriet, she's a prostitute."
"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"
"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."
In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?" Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services." Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."
"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat
dinner." At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25 !!!!!!!! "
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
A man walks into a spooky store.
Man: Wow, this shop really has everything!
Shopkeeper: Yes, but I warn you... every item comes at a price.
Man: Yes, I know how shops work.
Shopkeeper: But the price may be more than you expect to pay.
Man: Yes, I know how taxes work too.
Shopkeeper, angry now: No, you don't understand! I'm evil and I'm offering these items without regard for the harm they will do!
Man, also angry: I know what capitalism is, dammit!
A teacher asks her students a simple math question…
“There are 3 birds on a wire, one gets shot, how many are left?”
Little Johnny raises his hand, “there are none left, once the one bird was shot the other two flew away ”
Teacher tells Johnny he is wrong, but she likes the way he thinks.
Johnny then inquired, “may I ask you a question now teach?”
She loves his inquiring mind and tells him to go right ahead
Johnny continues, “There are 3 women coming out of an ice cream shop each with a cone… one is licking it, one is biting it, and one is sucking it…. Which one is married?”
Teacher thinks for a second and replies “well..I guess I would say the one who is sucking it”
Johnny replies, “No it’s the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think”
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