An octopus is in a bar and says he's a great musician.

An Englishman points to the piano and says, "Let's see." The octopus plays Mozart flawlessly. An American hands him a guitar and says, "try this." The octopus plays Hendrex perfectly. An Irishman hands him bagpipes and says, "how about these, lad?" The octopus fumbles around with the bagpipes for a few minutes. No music comes out. A few minutes more, no music. The octopus gets frustrated. "Ahh, see lad. The bagpipes are a we bit difficult to play" says the Irishman. "Play?" Says the octopus. "As soon as I get her pajams off I'm going to fuck her brains out."