A cucumber , a pickle and a penis were all sitting around one day talking about how much their lives sucked.

The cucumber said : "Man my life sucks. Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in a salad."

So the pickle looks at him and says: "You think you have it bad? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, someone puts me in vinegar, puts spices on me and sticks me in a jar."

The penis glared at them both and said: "You guys think you have it rough? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they put a rubber tarp over my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out."