A father of three - a man of considerable wealth and creator of a veritable empire - lies on his deathbed in the final hours of his life. His sons - all vying to inherit his wealth - stand by his side, arguing over who should take the kingdom.
"I am the smartest," says one.
"But I am the bravest," replies another.
The youngest - last in line to inherit - says nothing.
"Sons, sons! Stop this bickering. The inheritor or my vast wealth, of all my lands and riches, will be decided by a task."
"Father," cries the first son, "Whatever it is, I shall prove my worth! I will show you that your kingdom will be in safe hands with me! Name the task!"
The father breaths a laboured breath and then regards his first son.
"My firstborn, you shall journey to the furthest, storm-tossed seas of the great West. There, you will search the unfathomable depths for the long-lost wreck of the HMS Gordimer. Deep within her bowels, there lies a treasure chest. Inside that chest is the incredibly rare Gem of Kings. Bring that, and you shall have my blessing."
The son beams, prepares his horse and travelling train, and leaves on his quest.
"What is my task, father?" asks the second son. "Tell me! For your kingdom, for your blessing, nothing is impossible!"
"My son, you shall travel East. There, deep within the jungles of the Gargadian jungles, you will find the vicious and savage saber-toothed Bear. WIth just your hands, bring me its heart. Do this, and you shall have my blessing."
The son packs his things and begins his tough journey.
"And me father?" asks the last son. "What is my task? What dangerous quest will you have me do?"
The father just looks at him.
"My boy," he says. "Get me a Coke. I never liked those cunts."
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