The Queen of England is taking a tour of an American hospital when she spots a patient furiously masturbating through an open door.

Her Majesty: "What's going on here? This is absolutely appalling."

Nurse: "Actually, Your Highness, it's for medicinal purposes. This patient has a very serious condition, and if he doesn't orgasm at least once every eight hours, his testicles will swell and cause fatal clotting."

Her Majesty: "Fascinating. Very well, carry on."

All is well, until a few doors down the Queen sees a beautiful blonde nurse giving another patient a blowjob.

Her Majesty: "Now what's this?"

Nurse: "He's suffering from the same condition as that other patient, but this man has much better health insurance."