How To Ask for A Raise

EMPLOYEE: Excuse me, sir, may I talk with you?

BOSS: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

EMPLOYEE: Well, sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over 10 years.

BOSS: Yes...

EMPLOYEE: I won’t beat around the bush, sir. I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.

BOSS: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.

EMPLOYEE: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic downturn has had a negative impact on sales. However, you should also take into consideration my hard work, attention to detail, and loyalty to this company for over a decade.

BOSS: Well, I don't want us to lose a great employee. How about I offer you a 10% raise and an extra five days of vacation time? How does that sound?

EMPLOYEE: Great!! It’s a deal. Thank you, sir!

BOSS: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies are after you?

EMPLOYEE: Oh, the Electric Company, the Gas Company, the Water Company, and the Mortgage Company.