A guy hasn’t had sex in a while...(long)

A guy hasn’t had sex in a while so his friend says he should get a hooker. He asks his friend how to spot a hooker, to which his friend says,” I know the perfect place, just meet me at the old Riverside Run Bar and Grill tonight.”

Although he was hesitant, his hormones get the best of him so that night he goes and meets his friend at the bar.

They’re hanging around when they spot a very beautiful woman, dressed in all red, who keeps walking outside with men and coming back in with wads of cash.

Finally after working a bit of courage he goes to the woman and asks if she’s available for work tonight.

The woman replies,”Yes, it’s $500 for hand job.”

“$500?! You’ve got to be kidding me!”

The hooker grabs him by his arm and leads him outside in front of the bar. “You see that new Corvette? I bought that with the money from my handjobs alone.”

The man thinks for a second, finally agreeing to it.

He hands her $500, they get into the Corvette and he gets the best hand job he’s ever had in his life, he has the biggest orgasm he’s ever had and is completely satisfied.

A few weeks ago by and the man is getting desperate again as dating is still going nowhere, so he decides to hit her up once again.

“Are you available for work tonight? The handjob was great but I’d love to see how you are with your mouth.”

“Of course,” she says. “It’s $2,000 for a blowjob.”

“$2,000?! You can’t be serious! That expensive hand job is one thing, but $2,000 is almost my entire take-home pay for a month!”

She grabs him by the arm and takes him outside. “You see this bar here? I bought the Riverside Run Bar and Grill with the money from my blowjobs alone.”

Shocked, but in belief from their first encounter, he hands over $2,000. She takes him to the alley next to the bar and gives him the best blowjob he’s ever had. He cums even harder this time and can barely walk. He’s completely satisfied.

A few months go by and he shows up one night at the bar and sees the hooker again.

“I’ve saved up for three and a half months, I have about $5,000. I’ve gotta have some of that pussy! If I need more I can get it.”

She grins devilishly and grabs him by the arm and leads him outside once again.

She looks across the river next to the bar. You see the new island where they’re building that new theme park and shopping plaza?”

“Holy fuck...” he gasps. You mean to tell me...”

“Nah,” she says,”But if I had a pussy I’d own that motherfucker.”