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Thứ Sáu, 21 tháng 11, 2014
An Italian Boy's Confession
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
This Week’s Signature Songs, State By State
Here are the songs that defined America from Nov. 11 to Nov. 17, presented by BuzzFeed and Spotify. A state’s “signature song” is not its most popular, but its most distinctive — that is to say, the one that residents of that state streamed proportionally the most as compared with the U.S. as a whole.
Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed
For the week ending Nov. 17, Alabama, Nebraska and Wisconsin kept things country with Sam Hunt, up-and-comer Dej Loaf broke through in Maryland with "Try Me," Iggy Azalea made Virginia "Beg For It" and T.I.'s single "About The Money" got hot in his home state of Georgia.
Alabama: Sam Hunt, "Take Your Time"
Alaska: Imagine Dragons, "Warriors"
Arizona: The Weeknd, "Often"
Arkansas: Carrie Underwood, "Something In The Water"
California: Big Sean, "I Don't Fuck With You"
Colorado: Milky Chance, "Stolen Dance"
Connecticut: Ella Henderson, "Ghost"
Delaware: Fifth Harmony, "Sledgehammer"
District of Columbia: Mark Ronson, "Uptown Funk"
Florida: Rich Gang, "Lifestyle"
Georgia: T.I., "About The Money"
Hawaii: Magic!, "Let Your Hair Down"
Idaho: Imagine Dragons, "Radioactive"
Illinois: Milky Chance, "Stolen Dance"
Indiana: Fall Out Boy, "Centuries"
Iowa: Eric Church, "Talladega"
Kansas: MisterWives, "Reflections"
Kentucky: Blake Shelton, "Neon Light"
Louisiana: DJ Khaled, "Hold You Down"
Maine: Flo Rida, "GDFR (ft. Sage The Gemini And Lookas)"
Maryland: Dej Loaf, "Try Me"
Massachusetts: David Guetta, "Dangerous (ft. Sam Martin)"
Michigan: 5 Seconds Of Summer, "Amnesia"
Minnesota: G.R.L., "Ugly Heart"
Mississippi: Yo Gotti, "Errrbody"
Missouri: Jason Derulo, "Trumpets"
Montana: Dierks Bentley, "Drunk On A Plane"
Nebraska: Sam Hunt, "Make You Miss Me"
Nevada: Selena Gomez, "The Heart Wants What It Wants"
New Hampshire: Pitbull, "Fireball"
New Jersey: Alesso, "Heroes (we could be)"
New Mexico: Passenger, "Let Her Go"
New York: Avicii, "The Days"
North Carolina: Rae Sremmurd, "No Flex Zone"
North Dakota: Luke Bryan, "Roller Coaster"
Ohio: Hozier, "Take Me To Church"
Oklahoma: Katy Perry, "Dark Horse"
Oregon: AWOLNATION, "Sail"
Pennsylvania: Walk The Moon, "Shut Up And Dance"
Rhode Island: Ed Sheeran, "Thinking Out Loud"
South Carolina: Rae Sremmurd, "No Type"
South Dakota: Shawn Mendes, "Life Of The Party"
Tennessee: Keith Urban, "Somewhere In My Car"
Texas: Nicki Minaj, "Only"
Utah: Bastille, "Pompeii"
Vermont: alt-J, "Breezeblocks"
Virginia: Iggy Azalea, "Beg For It"
Washington: MKTO, "Classic"
West Virginia: Luke Bryan, "Play It Again"
Wisconsin: Sam Hunt, "Leave The Night On"
Wyoming: Nico & Vinz, "In Your Arms"
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