I saw Denzel Washington on the street today.

I said "Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?" And he's all like "I'm not Denzel Washington you racist piece of shit." Classic Denzel.

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A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar, all angry, sits down at the counter, and says, "God, lawyers are such assholes!". The man next to him turns and says, "Hey, I take offense to that". The first man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you a lawyer?" and the second man says, "No, I'm an asshole".

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How many ears does Spock have?

Three.

The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

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A girl at my school just posted her senior pic. Someone is enjoying the experience.

http://ift.tt/1pdAo2q

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Gingerbread crack house

http://ift.tt/1pdApU6

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How to wear out your todller during a 5-hour layover.

http://ift.tt/1ERlJvI

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A friend of mine has a left foot fetish.

It's just not right.

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