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Thứ Năm, 11 tháng 12, 2014
"What are those things on mommy's chest?"
A young boy once asked his father: "DAD, what are those things on mommy's chest?" The father replied: "Son, those are mommy's balloons you see, before she dies they get pumped up and she floats to heaven."
A couple days later, the father comes home early from work and sits on the couch. The young boy runs downstairs screaming: "DAD! DAD! MOM'S DYING!" The father get's up quickly and asks: "WHAT'S WRONG!!" The young boy replies: "UNCLE JAKE'S UPSTAIRS BLOWING UP MOMMY'S BALLOONS AND SHE'S YELLING OH GOD I'M COMING!"
A youthful child enters a follicle removal facility...
...and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Tegan And Sara Break Down "So Jealous" Ten Years Later
Everyone’s favorite Canadian heartthrobs answer a series of questions for BuzzFeed, each based off a song title from that first breakthrough album. The band has announced a special 10th anniversary release of the record this month.
Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed.
In 2004, people were piling into movie theaters to watch The Notebook and Mean Girls, Michael Phelps was poised to swim his way to six gold medals in the Summer Olympics, and Mark Zuckerberg officially launched a little thing called Facebook. It was also the year that Tegan And Sara released their fourth studio album, which would solidly place them on the path to pop royalty (and make us all fall for asymmetrical haircuts). On December 23rd, the twins will release a special 10th anniversary edition of the breakthrough album, aptly named So Jealous X. "We have been working on a book that looks back on the making of So Jealous, and the years that followed of touring and promotion, and how it made such a big impact on us and our fans at the time," the band announced on their website. The special release will include over twenty songs, including unreleased demos, remixes, and covers.
BuzzFeed spoke with both Tegan and Sara –individually – and had the heartthrobs answer a list of questions, each based off a song title from the album that will hopefully never stop making us feel "so jealous."
Sara: But there are so many! I think that our lifelong conflict will always be who leads. You know, we are both very strong willed, and sometimes one of us wants to be the leader and sometimes conflict arises when one of us doesn't want to be the leader. It might be who has to call the pizza guy and now it's like, who will call the head of the label? We argue about who is going to take charge.
Tegan: Everything I do bugs Sara. I talk too much, I talk in circles. I fixate on something.
Sara: Strangely I actually would love to just stay home (laughs) for no one to bother me. We travel so much that I just got home and I don't have to go anywhere until Christmas and it feels like heaven ... I feel like nobody knows where I am and I don't have to check in with anybody. I'm already there!
Tegan: I would probably go to Maui. Yeah. I think that would be really nice.
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