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Thứ Năm, 11 tháng 12, 2014

Am I the only one who wonders this?

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finally, this is why we germans check our boots

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So, I was sitting on a train across from a beautiful Thai girl.


And all I could think was "Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner." And then she did.



Son, please get me some baking soda from the store

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This is why we check our shoes in Canada.

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Target ordered blank name badges. So they got Blank name badges

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What is politics?


After arriving home from school, a young boy brings up his homework assignment to his dad. “Daddy, the teacher said to find out how politics works for class.”


The dad replies, “Politics? Well, let me explain, because politics operates in this house.”


“Really?”


“Yes, of course. Son, it’s like this… who brings home the money in this family?”


“You, daddy.”


“Right, so I am capitalism.”


“Ah, okay.”


“Now, what does your mother do?”


“Mom? She doesn’t do anything...”


“Alright, so your mom is government.”


“Okay.”


“Now, your mother is supposed to take care of you just like government is supposed to take care of its people, so you’re the people.”


“I’m the people!”


“That’s right. Now, the nanny is the working class, and your little brother, only two months old, is the future. I want you to think on this tonight, and I’ll ask you tomorrow morning before school what you think politics is, okay?”


“Yes daddy.”


Everyone goes to bed that night, only for the little boy to be woken up in the middle of the night by the cries of his baby brother who has pooped in his diaper. “I should go get mom,” the boy thinks, and he walks over to his parents’ bedroom. His mother was still fast asleep, so instead of waking her, the boy headed to the nanny’s room to get her to help with his brother.


Looking through the keyhole of the room, he saw his father fucking the nanny. Not wanting to walk in on them, he returned to his room and waited out his brother’s crying, eventually falling asleep as well.


The next morning, the little boy walks to the kitchen table before school and is greeted by his dad.


“So son, tell me, did you think about what we talked about last night? Do you know how politics works now?”


“Yep, I have a pretty good idea now. It’s actually really easy. Politics works like this: while capitalism screws the working class, the government is asleep and the people are in a tizzy over the fact that the future is in the shit.”