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Chủ Nhật, 4 tháng 1, 2015

A local convent is remodeling some of their rooms, and two of the nuns have been charged with repainting them all.


Since neither of them have any experience painting walls, they decide to lock the door and strip naked so they don't get paint on their clothes and risk garnering the wrath of Mother Superior. All is going well after half an hour and they have one wall completed when they hear a knock at the door.

Worried that they might be in trouble they run back to their clothes as they call out "Who is it?"

"It's the blind man, I need to talk to you Sisters."

Well they don't see any harm in letting the blind man in, so rather than put their clothes back on and get them dirty after all, they both decide to just let him in.

"Nice tits ladies, where do you want the blinds?"



Four nuns die and appear at the pearly gates.


Four nuns are in a car on a road trip but die in a car accident on the way.


They arrive at the pearly gates in heaven, where St. Peter says "I'm sure you ladies were all good since you're nuns, but you still gotta confess your sins and come clean before I can let you in" as he takes out a bucket of water.


St. Peter asks the first nun "what are you sins?" And the nun confesses that she gave a someone handjob once.


"Which hand?" "My left hand" "Place your left hand in this bucket of water and you shall be absolved of your sins"


Then St. Peter asks the 2nd nun the same question. "I too gave a man a handjob once. With my right hand" "Place your right hand in this bucket of water and you too shall be absolved of all your sins"


St Peter then asks the 3rd nun about her sins, but the 4th nun cuts him off...


"If you think I'm gargling the water in that bucket after she sticks her ass in it, you're crazy!"



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I know someone who talks like an owl

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The reason fish smell


One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, "The morning Eve and I made love for the first time."


God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?


Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."


"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."



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When a girl finally decides to tell you what's wrong.

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