Thứ Năm, 8 tháng 1, 2015
I just got fired from the grocery store for being too violent...
...all I did was put out a sign that said, "take lettuce from top of pile or heads will roll!"
Pepi The Chihuahua Is Instagram's Hottest Supermodel
Hello, Pepi!
This is Pepi.
He is a serious thespian and model, tirelessly dedicated to his craft.
Perhaps you've seen one of his many magazine covers...
... Or maybe you've caught him acting on one of your favorite soap operas.
So goes the cow
I feel like a good joke can be reposted about once a year on here (if a bad one can be posted once a month), so here goes:
There was a poor dirt farming family in Ireland. All they had was this one milk cow. The would turn the milk to cheese and sell at the market to buy food.
Well, one morning, the father wakes up and sees the milk cow dead. So he hangs himself in the tree.
The mother wakes up, sees the milk cow dead and her husband hanging from the tree and throws herself into the river and she washes up on the shore.
The oldest son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, his father hanged and, by his mother who has washed up on the shore, a leprechaun - a female leprechaun.
She says " Looks like you're having a bad day". he say "I should say so." She says "i'll make you a deal, if you make love to me 10 times in a row, I'll bring your mom and dad back, and even the milk cow".
He says "why not?". He almost makes it but fails, so she kills him.
The next son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, his father hanging and his mother and brother dead by the shore near the leprechaun.
She tells him "if you make love to me 10 times in a row, I'll bring you father, mother and brother back, and also the milk cow". He agrees. He doesn't make it either, so the leprechaun kills him.
The youngest son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, the father hanging from the tree, and his mother and two brothers dead by the shore, and the female leprechaun.
She tells him "if you make love to me 10 times in a row, without stopping, I'll bring your father, mother and two brothers back, and even the milk cow".
He says "Well, look at you and look at me, I'm young and virile, let's try it. BUT, what if I make love to you 15 times in a row?"
She says, "In that case, I'll bring your father, mother and brothers back, even the milk cow and give you nice mansion where your hovel is".
He says "That's fine and all, but what if I make love to you 20 times in a row?"
She says "If you make love to me 20 times in a row, I'll bring your entire family back, even the milk cow, give you mansion where your hovel is and give you a big pot of gold and you'll be set for life".
He says "alright let's get started in a minute, but first, if I make love to you 20 times in a row, what's to stop YOU from dying? The milk cow did."
All credit goes to Darby O'Gill here is a storyboard of the original telling of the joke: the cow did
17 Reasons Cows Are The Actual Champions Of Cuteness
Moooove over cats and dogs. There are some new cuties in town.
Cows actually have best friends and it's the most adorable thing ever.
And they're the cutest little eskimo kissers.
NOTHING is more adorable than a baby cow snuggle.
And they're never shy about showing you how much they love you.










