Meanwhile in Canada!!!

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If sex with two other people is a threesome...

and sex with 3 others is a foursome,

then I guess that makes me handsome.

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What's grosser than gross?

When a midget walks by and says, "Mmm, your hair smells nice!"

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We've been getting weekly visits from the Jehovah's Witnesses. Is my "No Trespassing" sign too subtle?

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Does it look like I'm going down the stairs??

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10 shots of whiskey please!

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them and the guy starts downing them. By the 5th one the bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You'd drink this fast if you had what I have."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "No money."

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Morgan Freeman showing Oprah he's not Samuel L. Jackson.

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