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Thứ Tư, 14 tháng 1, 2015
More than a bit racist
An Arab man comes home one day to his wife and child and says, "My sweet flower, I'm sick of all the dirty looks and prejudice. It's time we convert to Christianity, life will be easier."
The family goes to a priest and the father asks if the priest can convert the family to Christianity.
The priest says, "it is possible, however I need to see a symbol of your dedication to Jesus Christ."
The priest then takes the family to an Alligator infested river and stands on the opposite banks. Across the river, the priest yells, "whoever can cross this river in one piece has my blessing and may convert to Christianity!"
The father, looking at his family, decides this is the only way for them to have a brighter future. He dives into the river, swimming as fast he can to the opposite bank. After some close calls he reaches the opposite bank and the priest says, "you have been baptized, you are now a Christian."
The wife, seeing her husband on the other bank and thinking of her child's future decides to follow. She jumps into the river and struggles to sneak past the alligators. After just escaping the jaws of death, she scrapes herself onto the opposite shore. The priest approaches her and says "you have been baptized, you are now a Christian."
The son, watching his parents on the opposite bank reluctantly dips his toe into the river. An Alligator immediately grabs his legs with its powerful jaws and begins tearing him limb from limb.
The mother, horrified, immediately breaks down weeping and tearing at her clothes. The father distastefully approaches the mother and asks, "Honey, why are you crying over some Arab boy?"
There was a man who loved puns.
There once was a man who loved puns. They were his favorite kind of humor, and he would often spend time trying to come up with new ones. One morning he was feeling particularly inspired and thought up ten brand new puns. And so he went about his day with the intention of using his new puns to get a laugh from his friends, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Thứ Ba, 13 tháng 1, 2015
Someone Mixed "Elastic Heart" With The "Shia Labeouf Is A Cannibal" Song And It's Perfect
I AM NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE.
Last year, this song / live performance by Rob Cantour went viral. Probably because it prophesised the "cannibal adventures" of real-life ~I'M NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE~ famous person, Shia Lebeouf.
Shia has done a bunch of crazy artistic things since - including his performance in Sia's latest single, Elastic Heart.
And now someone has combined the two – which really changes the tone of the whole thing.
Watch it here:
31 Kittens Who Haven't Quite Figured Out This Whole Cat Thing
It’s hard out there for a kitten.
"I think this is how I...damnit, damn everything."
"Okay, maybe today isn't the day I become a laundry cat."
Premiere: Pretty People Play Spin The Bottle, Make Out In Their Underwear In Cash Cash's Steamy, Interactive "Surrender" Video
Models and bottles.
Cash Cash, the Jersey EDM trio responsible for such hearts-full, glasses-up anthems as "Take Me Home" feat. Bebe Rexha and "Lightning" feat. Goo Goo Dolls' John Rzeznik, are back with a video for their newest single "Surrender."
Big Beat / Atlantic
In the interactive clip, directed by Roy Raz, Cash Cash brothers Jean Paul Makhlouf, Alex Makhlouf, and Samuel Frisch arrive at a luxurious mansion in the woods.
“We shot the video in an old mansion called ‘Alder Manor’ up in Yonkers, NY. It had a really eerie vibe and we knew it was perfect the minute we walked in," Jean Paul told BuzzFeed Music in an email. "Just walking from room to room put so many questions in our heads like who might have lived here at one point or what sort of things took place in each room?"
Big Beat / Atlantic
The mansion is filled with beautiful, scantily clad models doing what all beautiful, scantily clad models in woodsy mansions probably do.
Big Beat / Atlantic
Big Beat / Atlantic.
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