http://ift.tt/1sYrzvj
Thứ Năm, 22 tháng 1, 2015
45 Cents
A Jewish daughter says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Nathan. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of a 5-cent piece." Her mother says ….. "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman! You live in an 8 bedroom mansion! You drive a $250,000 Ferrari! You get $2,000 a week allowance! You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?"
The Pirate
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." "Well, ok, but what about that hook? "What happened to your hand?" "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really." "What about that eye patch?" "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them S#t in my eye." "You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird S%t." "It was my first day with the hook."
Thứ Tư, 21 tháng 1, 2015
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