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Thứ Ba, 27 tháng 1, 2015

You must be single...


A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.


As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.


While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."


The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"


The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly."



That Time Badass Queen Elizabeth II Gave Saudi Arabia's King a Lesson in Power

http://ift.tt/1zOhfbM


How To Make Your Very Own Drake Snowflake

Otherwise known as a Snowdrake.


Thanks to this MTV Vine, we can all make Drake-themed snowflakes:



vine.co


Print out this Drake snowflake cut out, originally created by MTV.


Print out this Drake snowflake cut out, originally created by MTV.


MTV / Via mtv.com


Cut along the edges of the circle.


Cut along the edges of the circle.


MTV / Via vine.co


Fold along the lines into a tiny triangle.


Fold along the lines into a tiny triangle.


MTV / Via vine.co




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Sam Smith Responded To Howard Stern's "Ugly, Fat, And Effeminate" Comments In The Most Dignified Way

Go Sam. *Applauds*



Getty Images Rommel Demano



Lisa Lake / Getty




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Lady Gaga Had The Best Weekend Ever

Pizza + alcohol + pole dancing = a totally relaxing weekend for Gaga. Warning: an inflatable sex toy makes an appearance.


First, Gaga took a pole dancing class to celebrate a friend's bachelorette weekend.



Yes, that's Khia's "My Neck My Back" playing in the background.


instagram.com


As day turned to night the ladies went out for some ~drinks~.



Wig change.


instagram.com


Maybe one too many drinks...



instagram.com




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A girl made this suggestion to me. I couldn't agree more.

http://ift.tt/1ylxsyj


Thứ Hai, 26 tháng 1, 2015

An actual "Happy Birthday" card I saw at the store yesterday

http://ift.tt/1C3cfAL