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Thứ Hai, 9 tháng 2, 2015

"it's your kids, Marty." "What do they become assholes or something?"

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3 Missing Toes


Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous.


Her mother reassured her;


'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.


Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'


So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'


'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother, 'all good men have hairy chests..Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'


So, up she went again.. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!'


'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you..'


So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes.


When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!'


Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'



I peeled off the sticker on my banana at work. Someone had pricked a message under the chiquita sticker..

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A little girl went to her mom...


I don't know if I'm doing a good job translating this from my native language, I hope you like it either way A little girl goes to her mother and says: "Mom, guess what? Some hair grew on my pussy!" The mother replied: "That's not a very polite thing to say, honey! If you tell your older sister tell her that 'your monkey grew some hair'." The girl went to her sister and told her that "her monkey grew some hair". The sister looked at her and said: "You're still there?! My monkey is already eating bananas!"



Oh the humanity

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Nailed it

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When Anti-vaccers claim their process is working

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