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Thứ Ba, 17 tháng 2, 2015

The Professor's Jokes


The professor loved to start each lecture with a dirty joke. After a week of this, the female students got together and decided that next time, if this happened again, they would all walk out in unison.


The professor got wind of this plot. Next morning, after he entered the lecture hall, he said: "Good morning! Have you heard about the shortage of prostitutes in Singapore?"


Now all the female students stood up and headed toward the exit.


The professor continued: "Oh, ladies, please wait, the boat to Singapore doesn't leave until tomorrow!"



Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?


Because he's a fucking creep



11 Pictures Of Sia's Face

In case you’ve been wondering.


This is the Sia that we've grown used to.


This is the Sia that we've grown used to.


Getty Images for NARAS Larry Busacca


See?


See?


Mandatory Byline: Juan Rico/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES Mandatory Byline: Juan Rico/FAME


Can you believe it?


Can you believe it?


Getty Images Scott Gries




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The Devil can be a real asshole sometimes..

http://ift.tt/15PzYXt


I got arrested at the airport last week.


Appearently security doesn't like it when you call shotgun before boarding the plane.



My wife says we should spice up our sex life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Gray.


First, she wants me to become a billionaire.



Basically my life right now.

http://ift.tt/1v9yqmE